A pretty good list from Health.com/CNN about phrasing things appropriately when talking to someone who's in deep depression.
Thanks for this article - it's amazing how different people can say the same thing - I've forwarded it to my family who is my support group - much appreciate your post
love it Ross, thanks heaps.
but isn't it amazing how many of these we've heard from people and thought we might have just been too sensitive?
Yes Annie, but taken as a whole, there's a motif running through all the things they say you shouldn't say, and that's a complete lack of empathy. Broadly, a lot of them remind me of things that someone I know very well says all the time, and this person is a classic narcissist, everything that happens, regardless of who it happens to, will surely affect her more intensely, she'll suffer far worse than anyone, she'll see to that. You can't communicate with her-- you can't hope for understanding from her-- because she can only relate to things if she inserts herself. The example I always use is if you lost a beloved pet and went to her for support; what you'd get is, "You think that's bad, I had to put my [pet] of [pet's age, assured to be older than yours] to sleep, can you imagine how horrible THAT was?"
doesn't sound like someone i would want to spend alot of time around.
maybe you should send her a copy of this site reference "anonomously".