My wife has been with me for the last 3 years (since this **** happened) and our relationship has gotten worse. I love her so much. And she tells me that she loves me too. But at this point she is asking to separate, she can't take anymore. This is the 3rd time at least that we've made it to this point. I found out that she is looking for another place and like a retard I frantically tried to fix it using the best judgement I had after a fight 5 days ago.
I do not want her to go. I do not want her to go. I do not want her to go but I see how tired she is and how honest she is when she tells me that she can't take anymore.
I don't know how I got so lucky. I've always told myself that I would never wish this on my worst enemy. But now I wish all the people telling my wife that it's time to leave would feel just a fraction of my pain. My 8 year old puts his arms around both of us and tries to be a comedian and change the subject. I still want to wake up in the morning and see his face. I raised him and he is my joy. I put all my love and energy into him in hopes that he'd turn out better than me.
But now I truly have to make a decision and keep my wife in bondage, or let her go.
Let her GO! If you have any love for your wife and child, give them the opportunity to live life in a healthy loving manner. I am a wife of a man that has bipolar and OCD and it is like being buried between 4 brick walls of insanity, you are not able to engage in life, and you become a prisoner of your spouses instability. Hopeless and strangly numb to life. Your child cannot grow to be emotionaly healthy when he is surrounded by such disorder and instability. You and your wife should think first about your son and get him the help he will need because no matter what you decide he will need professional help if he is to have a chance atliving an emotionally healthy life.
We actually had a big talk and started talking and remembering the good times we had. We were in total love and we were powerful, powerful people creating positive change for all around us. All my early memories where good and it changed just before my first manic episode.
Anyways I was filled with peace for the first time in a long, long time and I knew that I had to let her go in order to save any remaining part of our marriage and friendship. So I did tonight.
All I can say is that it was there all along. She has stood by me all the time and each time I went to the hospital she'd come almost everyday. I love her, always.
My husband and I have been married 26 years. I am bipolar. We have 2 girls, 23 and 25 years old. They are not affected by the upheavals I caused at home when they were young.
I've gone up and down like crazy. The first 10 years of our marriage was fine and I wasn't diagnosed. So, that was a big decision my husband made, finding out 10 years into our marriage and with 2 toddlers.
My point is, the kids won't be negatively affected by your behavior. But, read my post "I lost my family". To be ridiculed and disrespected by your children is hard and has happened to me now that they can see my behavior and how it hurts their father.
Everyone has a limit point and I do feel I stopped my husband's life since our 10th year of marriage. My girls are judging me either as a "normal" person in an uneducated way of bipolar, or they are siding with their dad. I don't know. It hurts, that's all I know.
For your children, I would do everything you can to stay with your wife. That is less damaging, even with your ups and downs, than you and your wife separating. Remember hearing that kids are okay as long as they're in a consistent environment? Bad as it is, we're consistently up and down, you know. That's why it's okay for the kids.
Red, would be wise to let him as much as possible take responsibility for his issues & let the doctors/therapist lead him through the neverending cycles he experiences when their available & do your best to not loose yourself emotionally in this if possible. Some are highly capable of managing themselves w/these disorders without others managing it for them. Is very difficult to try & talk them down when their in an episode phase so be very careful & focus on YOU for an alternate plan for your well being just in case.