Well last night we had our second session. I left the second session mad as hell. I am trying so hard to put us back together as a couple but all my husband can do is play the blame game.
When really in all truth he is most to blame for everything. It drives me nuts that he can't see the truth. I guess we did make some head way. I am just not use to feeling angry.
I am still having trouble with everthing that is going on in my head. The thoughts of the affair and the questions just do not stop. I will have one good night of sleep and the next night I might get three hours.
I do love him and the funny thing was he did soften up and start seeing things as they were but I was so darn mad by the time we left, it was hard to enjoy him.
We go back next Monday, we have to do a budget, because all he can focus on is money. Because I lost my job a year ago because of the depression. He is the one that has always spent it. Never tried to save it.
Well I guess that is what we are going for help for, to learn to get past our issues.
Well maybe now that I vented I can get past the anger and focus on us.
Tina
tright1bby:
Howdy! :)
1) Getting on the same page Financially by creating a budget with the help of a third party is a GREAT idea and step towards making things better for both of you. I'm sure you're aware that most married couples do have conflict over the money, and many divorces are usually related to money problems too. So WAY TO GO and good luck with creating the budget - this will help A LOT.
2) I think you and your spouse should consider individual counseling for a period of time before working specifically on your marriage. It's just a thought. If each of you take a step back, and start helping yourselves and working on each of your respective personal issues, feelings, memories, and etc, you may be surprised how clearer things may seem once you shift back into the marriage-oriented counseling. Once you've squared away personal issues, then you can work on the mutual issues which are still on the table. You would probably both grow a lot fromt he experience, and be happier people and more optimistic and open minded once you start actively working on your marriage relationship again.
I hope the best for both of you!!! :)
Thank you Brumby,
We are both going to counseling on are own. It has be tough, my hubby is dealing with personal issues that have often find their way into our marriage.
My hubby has is a smart man, but when it comes to relationships he is lacking because of his childhood.
Honestly I will do anything it takes to make it work, as long as in the end we are both happy and love each other :)
Tina