8 Dead

From Feb. 2009 to Feb. 2010 I have had 8 people die in my life. Three were suicide, one by car accident, 2 by old age and 2 by cancer. I'm on some medications for various other things wrong with me. In therapy weekly. The thoughts of everyone I care about dying are still there. I've had one death prior that affected me, my Grandfather passed a day before my 15th birthday. Other than that, not much. I'm 21 now and it seems like people are telling me two contradicting things, that grief has it's own time line to get through, and that I need to start getting back on my feet. I just want encouraging words that will give me light. I'm not religious. I'm part Schizophrenic so the depression makes that aspect worse for me although I've been successfully medicated and in therapy for 5 or so years now. Everything in life is just not worth it with all of them dead, why bother at this point, when life can be taken from me so fast with hardly any warning? Not to sound like a typical Depressed person or anything..

grief is like a washing machine cycle and u could b at prewash while others want u to b at rinse. there is no hard and fast rule to follow because each death has to b processed and dealt with, as too life not worth living i dont agree with that u could b the one to make roads safer mayb u are going to help out with the cancer gene who knows what your future holds but u are here so u must go on, and i no its not fair and all the rest of it. sending u positive thoughts and loving vibes