First thing I did when I woke up was turn on my light and reach for my 12 step prayer book. This particular prayer hit the heart...
Lord, I want to love You, yet I am not sure.
I want to trust You, yet I am afraid of being taken in.
I know I need You, but I am ashamed of the need.
I want to pray, but I am afraid of being a hypocrite.
I need my independence, yet I fear to be alone.
I want to belong, yet I must be myself.
Take me, Lord, yet let me alone.
Lord, I believe; help me with my unbelief.
O Lord, if You are there, You do understand,
don't You?
Give me what I need, but leave me free to choose.
Help me work it out my own way, but don't let me go.
Let me understand myself, but don't let me despair.
Come unto me, O Lord, I want You there.
Lighten my darkness, but don't dazzle me.
Help me to see what I need to do, and give me
strength to do it.
O Lord, I believe; help me with my unbelief.
beautiful d thanks for posting it hun.....i can't get enough support in my life how about you? God has been my rock and i have struggled with him over the past year with my ails so thank you very appropriate for me personally.
I do not believe in heaven or hell or prayer (so I did not read thru your post).
I went to an outpatient treatment for alcoholics ~ 1993. One of the counsellors was an older recovered alcoholic. One thing he told me that has stuck with me all these years "the first thing an alcoholic thinks of in the morning is how much booze they have available for the day". I know it's a true statement, when I am drinking the first thing I check in the morning is my alcohol supply, if I am short I will plan how I will re stock.
I was recently sober for 3 weeks, the only time I wanted a drink was during and immediately after AA meetings. I did not think of alcohol first thing in the morning.