A day full of triggers

ugh today has been one of those days. just walking in the grocery store i feel as if everyone is talking about me. i had a long list of groceries to get and i only managed to get bread, milk, and cereal so i would have at least something to eat. it felt as if the walls were closing in on me. i got a letter in the mail today from a friend in the court system in texas, informing me one of my abusers just got approved for parole. it doesnt matter that he's 3 states away i feel as if he's about to be as close as my backyard. family members think i should contact him " after all he's your brother" yeah well i was doin just fine with the history of my abuse until today. i feel like i can't breathe. i feel like my world is closing in around me. i'm having hot flashes and cold sweats. i dont want to answer my phone or keep any appointments i had today. i dont know how i'll make it to work tomorrow. i havent felt like this in awhile. my anxiety medicine isnt helping me.

any suggestions on this rambling?

hon

its natural that u are in distress with this man on the horizon it has awakened all the old fears and feelings.

u are not rambling and make perfect sense to those who have dealt with abuse on any lvl.

its not that the medication isnt working but u are under pressure do u see someone for this? if u do u might need to make an appointment to talk thru the fears u are experiencing im not sure how juristriction works in the states but im sure u can get an injunction out to keep him away if that is what u want.

and i suppose u are always going to get people who want u to forgive and forget, for them who havent lived it it should be time to move on and do other things,

u have come so far with dealing with all this so its time to stay a survivor and not let fear make u a victim again, scream and shout if it makes u feel better but continue to live your life for u is the best way to deal with this

having said that i know its hard but u have already shown great courage and i know u can get thru this and cotinue on the path u set yourself

keep posting and talking hon

loving thoughts and positive vibes

D :)

my gf was abused by her ex (emotionally and verbally) and he gets to visit every 2 weeks to pick up her son - so i get where u r coming from. i hope you have been in/are in counselling, because these cases call for professional help

good luck and god bless

You are reacting normally to the past unpleasant situation. Listen to your own feelings. Do not look back. Have faith and trust God. He will always protect you and guide you properly. Say a prayer, when you can. God bless you always.

God everything you wrote is so close to what I go through. Wish I had an answer