Hello my incredible freinds,
I had the most eye opening experience the other day...
My fiancee , his daughter and I went to visit his son's grave( he was horribly killed by a drug dealer). Through dealing with the pain of his loss I started to find the meaning of life...
As I was walking through the cemetary, I asked myself why do I live like a dead person? Why am I imprisioned in my own body? I gazed upon the graves and tombstones and thought --wow, these people cannot enjoy life anymore and I am daily pushing aside the gift of life.
I stared at the glorious peach, orange, vibrant yellow and crimson leaves of the trees and I felt as if they were reaching out to me like arms stretched out---trying to rescue me... I gazed upon the stunning glow of the crystalline sunshine bouncing off the trees and I was enchanted... simply enchanted...
I was in sheer awe... Why dont I let myself live?? WHY? These poor people cannot live, their life is tragically lost-- so then why cant I live MINE? Why can't I savor the beauty and gift of life?? Thoughts swirled inside me like ribbons as my mind set adrift of wonderment...
I walked upon the cruchy brown and yellow leaves and studied the tombstones . I noticed one thing in particular---the eptigraph had nothing to do with beauty , dress size or weight. The phrase printed on the tombstone dispalyed what kind of person he were---kindness, pateince, sweet, loving, joyful, warm caring, poet, musician, husband, wife, helpful...
There was NO mention of size or weight or looks upon the tombstones --but instead who they were as people. I think we sooo forget when we get caught up in our body obsession the true meaning of life: the love, the laughter, the joy, the bliss, the experiences life can bring us. What matters is how we help others and love and play, and enjoy ourselves, how caring and nice we are and not a stupid dress size or weight or new diet craze...
It made me do a 360 on my daily thought process. Why do I bash myself everyday with ED hell and not let myself live to my full potential??? Why do I value my weight and not who I truly am??? I thought of all the eptigraphs on the tombstones and thought how NO one remembered their loved ones as a size or weight but THE JOY THEY BROUGHT TO OTHERS! That is it----the meaning of life---to bring JOY TO OTHERS! Not a dress size or weight!!!
Think today of what you want to be remembered as when you have passed on --and what you VALUE in life.
What are your goals? What do you want from life? How do you want to be remembered?? What would you change about the life you are living?
As I looked down at the grave of my fiancees son's grave, my heart leaked... I have no excuse not to LIVE.
Love to you all!!!