A Different View on Life

Hello my incredible freinds,

I had the most eye opening experience the other day...

My fiancee , his daughter and I went to visit his son's grave( he was horribly killed by a drug dealer). Through dealing with the pain of his loss I started to find the meaning of life...

As I was walking through the cemetary, I asked myself why do I live like a dead person? Why am I imprisioned in my own body? I gazed upon the graves and tombstones and thought --wow, these people cannot enjoy life anymore and I am daily pushing aside the gift of life.

I stared at the glorious peach, orange, vibrant yellow and crimson leaves of the trees and I felt as if they were reaching out to me like arms stretched out---trying to rescue me... I gazed upon the stunning glow of the crystalline sunshine bouncing off the trees and I was enchanted... simply enchanted...

I was in sheer awe... Why dont I let myself live?? WHY? These poor people cannot live, their life is tragically lost-- so then why cant I live MINE? Why can't I savor the beauty and gift of life?? Thoughts swirled inside me like ribbons as my mind set adrift of wonderment...
I walked upon the cruchy brown and yellow leaves and studied the tombstones . I noticed one thing in particular---the eptigraph had nothing to do with beauty , dress size or weight. The phrase printed on the tombstone dispalyed what kind of person he were---kindness, pateince, sweet, loving, joyful, warm caring, poet, musician, husband, wife, helpful...

There was NO mention of size or weight or looks upon the tombstones --but instead who they were as people. I think we sooo forget when we get caught up in our body obsession the true meaning of life: the love, the laughter, the joy, the bliss, the experiences life can bring us. What matters is how we help others and love and play, and enjoy ourselves, how caring and nice we are and not a stupid dress size or weight or new diet craze...

It made me do a 360 on my daily thought process. Why do I bash myself everyday with ED hell and not let myself live to my full potential??? Why do I value my weight and not who I truly am??? I thought of all the eptigraphs on the tombstones and thought how NO one remembered their loved ones as a size or weight but THE JOY THEY BROUGHT TO OTHERS! That is it----the meaning of life---to bring JOY TO OTHERS! Not a dress size or weight!!!

Think today of what you want to be remembered as when you have passed on --and what you VALUE in life.

What are your goals? What do you want from life? How do you want to be remembered?? What would you change about the life you are living?

As I looked down at the grave of my fiancees son's grave, my heart leaked... I have no excuse not to LIVE.

Love to you all!!!

I really needed to read this, thank you for posting your thoughts and your experience. Inspirational.

thanks sooooo much kristin... i think i am printing this one out as a reminder for me..

thank so for your reply

love
maureen

Maueen: This is an incredibly written and moving post. So true and so eloquently written. Thank you for this.... I think it will impact many of us

love ya girl and just wrote you an email! hahahhaha LOL!

thanks so much molly!!! thanks so so much!!!

i sure hope it will impact others.... as it has impacted me ....

love
maureen

That was very beautifully written M, you have a gift that needs to be shared with others <3 I'm going to have to think about this one for a bit...

lilac,

thanks so much gina!!!! thanks so much for your kind compliments.... so sweet...

im glad this got ya thinking!!!

love and hugz

maureen

i agree with everyone that it was pretty moving and touching for me. maybe a wake up call for me. thanks maureen.

it got me thinking as well

thanks lizzy!!!!!!!! so kind...im glad it got you thinking also!!!!!!!!

thanks so much for your reply!!!!!!!!

love
maureen

awesomely written. it is a lot to think about.
i am glad you found an answer even in a place where you might not have thought to look. i am sorry for the loss your family feels right now.

worry not about tomorrow we have no guarantees it will ever come. worry not for yesterday it can never happen again. do not worry about today it is a gift and therefore called the present. (so cheesy but true)

scarlette

thanks a million scarlet! yes i found some answers in a place i was not excepting to really find answers...

i feel so sad for my fiancee--really i cant even wrap my finger on his loss. i myself am a loss of words...with that one, i am. he does not talk much at all of the death of his son. i guess i can understnad why...

i love your motto---ill keep that one!

i also, have new things to ponder on this topic now....

thanks so much....

love
maureen

maureen, very well written.

thank you bunny!!! thanks so much!!!

love
maureen

Maureen, that is a beautifully written, poignant reflection. You're an amazing writer! It really got me thinking too. I don't judge any of my loved ones on their weight- it never factors in to how much I love or care for someone. So why do I torture myself about my own size? Thanks for getting me thinking!

your kind words touch my heart so much! thank you soooo much for your compliments!!!

im glad it got you thinking also --how important living is…

yesterday i symbolically closed the door on ED… as i went into my room…

after i wrote that…

love
maureen

thanks a lot. it really cheer me up and give hope in my life. what a healthy thinking that arise in your mind~

Maureen,
I truly do get this, and thank you for your beautiful writing that paints a picture of this reality.
A huge turning point for me was when my 17yo son was tragically killed. The fragility of life hit me HARD, and it was at that time when, while I was terribly confused, I knew that as long as I was being allowed to live (although very ill with an eating disorder), I had to do all that I could to value my life and move beyond the disorder.
I love the way you shared this. Thank you and please know that you are entirely supported and appreciated!!

HUGS....Jan ♥

thanks soooo much jen!!! and thanks to you for giving me a great great birthday memory!..ill always treasure that…

im soooooo sorry about your son. i dont know how both you and joe deal with thst hurt… i really am sorry…

but yes it is important to remember how precious and fragile life really is! all it takes is one thing to happen to your health and boom, it is over…

thanks so much for your kind kind words

heck jan, i am honored to be on this site as i know all of you amazing people ARE so supprotive and kind…

love ya

maureen

There is a little book called, The Dash... It's all about how we mark a person's life on a tombstone with the date of birth, a dash, and the date of death. The author pointed out that the REALLY important part on the tombstone is the DASH... All that LIVING that happens in between those two dates. ♥

Beautiful, Maureen! Thank you for sharing. :)

Love!

Jen

thanks so much my incredible freind!!!!!!!!

where can i get that little book called the dash???

yes it is soooo the living that counts on that dash! heck if we dont do it we end up regretting it when we get to that date of death!

thanks so much !!!!!!!!!

love
maureen