A little miserable

I've been a frequent user of 2mg Xanax for years now. I'm not prescribed them from any doctor, I obtain them illegally. I also dont use Xanax responsibly. I find myself taking anywhere up to 8mg in a matter of a few hours. In all honesty I really don't even remember half my life. I cannot understand my attraction to this drug as I do not have an anxiety problem and I am usually so far gone I dont realize whats going on around me and cannot remember alot of my days. I thought I had curbed this problem a little over 2 years ago when my daughter was born, and was off of Xanax for a long while, but somewhere along the way began abusing them again. It seems like everytime I get back on track and stop using them I'm somehow drawn back to them without even noticing if that makes sense. This drug has been a huge problem in MY life. I've awoken in jails, been to rehabs, it just never ends. What the hell is wrong with me and why arent my childrens faces enough to keep me off them? What is my attraction to this drug thats never done me anything but harm??? I realize im not in the same category as alot of you in the sense that alot of people on here prescribed thme under a MD's care and need a slow withdraw to curb the physical addiction. Alot of people might read this and think, "Wow, what a piece of **** druggy." But I promise you that when I'm off of them I can be one of the best people you'll ever meet. I think I am ranting here so I'll cut it short now. If anyone has any insight or advice I would appreciate it. Ive only been off them again for 2 days now. Feeling weak already.

BE strong man. U can do it..

Yeah Iam in the same boat as you. I am not prescribed xanax but i can get them off the streets pretty easy. I dont want to take them any more I take anywhere from 4 to 8 mg a day. If i dont the withdrawals kick in. I have a family and a job.

Searching the net I found a system to slowly ween along with natural nutrients called The Road Back and I also found Point Of Return. might be off subject but has any one tried any of these and if you did does it help did it help you. All I read is slowly ween. thanks,,,,Matt

Join the club brotha. I started just 4 months ago, sure I had taken them in the past here and there, but I had some real anxiety. I was in Egypt and bought a **** tonne, I didn't know how addictive they were. I'd try to come off and feel like I was lossing my mind.
Now I order them online and range between 4- 7 mg's a day and have no idea how in the frig I'm gonna come of this stuff.

Hell I've played with drugs, cocaine even many times, I never knew the difference between pyschological and physically addictive. COcain is a joke compared to Xanax. Do blow for a night the next day you feel like hell, do it 3 times a week if you want and you're not 'addicted'.

But xanax makes you looney tunes if you stop taking. I'm scared to get off. And it's becoming a real problem.

I mean I've played with drugs, and I'm not proud, but I played pretty heavy in my not so distant past, but nothing I have never been addicted... just Xanax.

I was on xanax, up to very recently, hope this helps. Last year I was on to approx 8 mg a day, prescribed. I do have bad anxiety and anxiety attacks.I have been on for around 9 years. In Sept my ex beat me dozens one night to the point of jumping on my head and face. I left him. I was with him over 13 years. I have several medical conditions and since I left him, I didnt have much help, and I had to take naps for my medical issues. I couldnt tolerate many "ENERGY" meds so my doc and I decided last Dec to get off the xanax. I was weaned in Dec of 2010 and Jan 2011, it has and is a fkn nightmare. I hate this. I am and do take vistaril, it is a antihistamine but also used for anxiety. I also take veseparmine, atenolol, and phengran. The phenegran is for nausea and the other two for high blood pressure. Thise meds combinded take away the symptons for withdrawl for the most part. I fight this daily, and I will say the worst pain I have gone through, and I have had gallstones, given birth, and other med issues, this withdrawl is by far the worst. I still have anxiety daily and fight it. But if you can get help anywhere ask about meds like I am on. I have tried almost every antidepressant and benzo and antipsychotics drugs under the sun to help, but hey I can write this and not have a xanax in my body. I also get therapy. I wish you all the best, from one who deals with it daily. God Bless and take care.

We take benzos because we suffer from anxiety, and unfortunately we become addicted. But I ask myself: Don't we anxiety sufferers deserve relief from the constant pain, as much as any other person with an illness or a disorder?

I have taken many antidepressants, every benzo, and a couple of antipsychotics. The antipsychotic is what works best for me. The antipsychotic helped me to leave home after a year of agoraphobia. The Ativan dose doesn't even work anymore.

I have seen numerous psychiatrists and finally found one who is flexible and willing to let me try many different meds. I find that over time one particular med will stop working so I have to switch.

If you're not doing so, I would encourage you to see a Psychiatrist who has experience with benzo addiction.

What you're going through sounds so difficult - but what if there is a psychiatrist and a med out there that can turn your life around? I had given up hope after a year and a half of insomnia and three years of chronic anxiety, but I did get better.

All the best to you.