A lot has happened to me this year, and things just keep hap

A lot has happened to me this year, and things just keep happening. I suffer from a multitude of problems, a lot of it stems from my brain surgery I had 20 years ago, because of this I have a cognitive disorder and can't drive or work. I'm a 30 year old who can't drive, work and has to live with her parents. It depresses me to know I can't live a "normal" life. In January I cut my leg up with my knife and shortly after realized what I did was wrong. In March my father lost his job as manager at a company he worked for for 30+ years, leaving my family in a tight spot as well as putting the pressure on my mom to now be the bread winner in the family. My mom is a 2 year breast cancer survivor, and also suffers from a multitude of health issues. In June, I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndome (EDS), which is a complex issue in itself, but September came and I suddenly had the worst anxiety attack of my life. I was literally feeling on top of the world, invincible, but in a blink of an eye, for no reason, my world came tumbling down. I felt trapped, like a mouse in a maze trying to its cheese, but that cheese was no where in sight, it was a constant dead end. I could breath, and was crying non stop. I even got on my Facebook and started randomly deleting friends. I contacted my therapist the next morning and told him what happened, and asking if there was a possibility of me having a bipolar disorder. Bipolar does not run in my family, but I thought I would ask. I told him EVERYTHING, plus he had gotten to know me very well over the last 2 years. After everything was said and done, he diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder in September, but it wasn't till October he officially diagnosed me bipolar 1. Ever since my meds have been upped and monitored my emotions are still unstable, but have gotten a bit more stable.

However, today I feel very depressed because my niece, 7, won't be spending Christmas Eve or day with my family and I this year because of her mother. We get her on the 23rd, but her mother wants her on Christmas Eve and day. Her mom has her 90% of the time, and come next month it's going to be 99.9% of the time because she's moving to Texas, and we live in California. Her mom couldn't let her spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with us. She's uses her for money and as a maid. She's a terrible parent. She has 5 kids from 3 different fathers. I'm just so sad that she won't be with us Christmas morning.

Can't you work at wall mart maybe? I don't know how bad your disease is. If you could still get on a bus, that could drive you to your work that would be great. Or maybe you could work from your home as a programmer, or website designer. Even adding a dime of income to the family is more then nothing. hopefully your father and you can ask for social support and social security, in order to try to improve the family situation.

I would distantiate myself from that bad family member of yours. Those kind of people only add misery to other people's lives, and you cannot use negativity in your life, you've had enough of it already. Just let the niece come and go as it is because those kind of people always do things in a twisted way.

From Mood Disorders to Bipolar Disorder