A lot has happened to me this year, and things just keep hap

A lot has happened to me this year, and things just keep happening. I suffer from a multitude of problems, a lot of it stems from my brain surgery I had 20 years ago, because of this I have a cognitive disorder and can't drive or work. I'm a 30 year old who can't drive, work and has to live with her parents. It depresses me to know I can't live a "normal" life. In January I cut my leg up with my knife and shortly after realized what I did was wrong. In March my father lost his job as manager at a company he worked for for 30+ years, leaving my family in a tight spot as well as putting the pressure on my mom to now be the bread winner in the family. My mom is a 2 year breast cancer survivor, and also suffers from a multitude of health issues. In June, I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndome (EDS), which is a complex issue in itself, but September came and I suddenly had the worst anxiety attack of my life. I was literally feeling on top of the world, invincible, but in a blink of an eye, for no reason, my world came tumbling down. I felt trapped, like a mouse in a maze trying to its cheese, but that cheese was no where in sight, it was a constant dead end. I could breath, and was crying non stop. I even got on my Facebook and started randomly deleting friends. I contacted my therapist the next morning and told him what happened, and asking if there was a possibility of me having a bipolar disorder. Bipolar does not run in my family, but I thought I would ask. I told him EVERYTHING, plus he had gotten to know me very well over the last 2 years. After everything was said and done, he diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder in September, but it wasn't till October he officially diagnosed me bipolar 1. Ever since my meds have been upped and monitored my emotions are still unstable, but have gotten a bit more stable.

1 Heart

Well that's certainly a lot to deal with. Have you joined the brain injury group? If that applies? Are you getting any disability payments? I'm glad you have a good relationship with your therapist. There are agencies that help people with disabilities find suitable work and living situations... there are agencies who provide transportation assistance... You must be under a great deal of stress, the cutting and panic attacks. There's groups here for anxiety and self harm, if you feel like getting support there. I know how completely overwhelmed you must feel, but I think if you could break the things you want to talk about down into more manageable bites, and post in the groups that are specific to those issues, you might get better feedback. There *are* people here who care and are willing to listen to what you have to say, help where we can. There are also Breast Cancer and Grief groups here that you would fit into. These are just suggestions. Anyway, welcome. *Hugs* I feel for the amount of distress you're having right now. Hang in there. Come here to vent, share, celebrate your wins and support others. This is a truly caring site.

I get SSI monthly, but I have to live with my mom and dad because it's not much. I also have tried to work but have an extremely hard time because of the cognitive disorder. I work from home, I own an online shop through Etsy. I'm brand new to this site so I'm still trying to get used to everything. Thank you so much for taking the time to write a heartfelt response, means a lot.

1 Heart

Well it's nice to meet you :) Yah, SSI doesn't pay much. That's cool about your Etsy shop. What kind of things do you sell?

I sell things for Erin Condren Life Planners ( which are digital stickers you can download and print and put in you planner) also make digital Scrapbooking kits.

1 Heart

Oh cool. That sounds like fun. So, how are you doing today? I'll be on and off here if you want to chat.

I'm doing ok, kinda bummed because I found out yesterday I'm not going to see my niece on Christmas morning like it was originally planned. My brother lives with my dad, mom and I, so I'm always seeing my niece. Her dad and mom split when she was 2, she's 7 now. What's hurting me is that we live in California and next month she's moving to Texas with her mom. We wanted to have her Christmas Eve, and Christmas morning but her mom is a cold hearted person.

1 Heart

That sucks. Does your brother have shared custody?

They settled out of court, so no. When he tries to get her for a couple days, his ex comes up with an excuse for her not to come up. She's a terrible mom. She has 5 kids from 3 different dads, her current husband she has 3 kids with and my neice takes care of them a lot of the time because she's busy watching TV, texting, or going out drinking with her sister. So when she's up at our house she's allowed to be a kid. It's so sad.

From Mood Disorders to Bipolar Disorder