A New Life

Just yesterday, I heard the news from my doctor that I was positive for herpes and right then and there I went into total shock. I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it. I was and still am in denial and I'm really taking it hard. I feel like my life is over. Sometimes I think about suicide because I don't want to live in this condition. I have no one to talk to because I don't want anyone to know I have this disease. I feel ashamed and disgusted of myself. Everytime I look in the mirror I don't see myself anymore. I see an ugly nasty human being that has taken over my life. I have so many questions. Why me? Why do I have to live with this for the rest of my life? Why was I such an idiot? Why can't I go back in time?? This changes everything. I can't concentrate anymore. I look at guys and relationships differently. When if I find the one? When if he doesn't accept me for my faults? I just need someone to talk to. I need someone to tell me everything is going to be ok. I know things can be worse, but right now I feel like the worst, most disgusting, worthless pos on the planet. Please! Someone give me hope!!

The feelings u r going through is exactly how i felt. I was diagnosed with type two about 4 yrs ago. I was devistated. Same questions went through my head. Those feelings eventually werent so strong especially after a met someone and they didnt reject me because of it. I think fear of rejection is the worst. I have to 4 guys i dated and they respected me me re for tellling them and we were still intimate. I learned to deal with it. I am now single again and just got test for type one. Test was positive. I am now back to feeling the same way u do. U r not alone. People say stereotype for type two is worse than one but not in my head. I guess learning about it and time makes it easier to deal with. Im hear if u wanna chat.

Yes I would love to talk I need to know how to cope with this. I'm super depressed. So depressed that ppl r noticing and ask me what's wrong but I can't tell them. I have no one to talk to

U can talk to me im here for u. When i first found out i told one female friend of mine. I trusted her alot but it helped to that she lived states away. I know the feelings...if i tell someone will they tell other people. I have the same fear . Since last week and i got other results back i have told 4 guy friends of mine and none of them rejected me. That has helped. Two i have been friends forever and two are interests of mine. It is hard to talk about it but find someone u can trust or us that are going through the same thing. I thought about seeing a counselor myself that is always an option. U will hugsgather more and more strength everyday.

My biggest concern is if I find a guy I really like n I tell him, Im scared that he is gonna reject me and then tell all his friends and then some :frowning: I dont want this to ruin my reputation

This virus is the most common STD around. The stigma of the virus is worth than what it actually is. It is simply a skin condition. 80% of the population has cold sores, which is HSV1. Society doesn't look at this as anything bad, but once it gets to the genitals everyone starts freaking out. Look at it as a blessing in disguise. You will now be more careful of who you date and are intimate with and learn how to trust people. I know it's hard. Trust me. I was diagnosed and before I could even tell me boyfriend he dumped me. I feel completely lost and depressed. I am here if you want to chat.

imnotalone, your screen name says it all...you're not alone. We all understand what you are going through. I found out I have HSV1 in the beginning of september. I am lucky that I have a supportive bf (who I met after finding out). But even without him in my life I know that this is not the end of the world. I sucks and can be painful both physically and emotionally. Nothing and nobody is worth taking your life for. You are stronger than you realize...you'll find your strength. I hope you find that you really aren't alone. I am here to chat.