A stomach virus- oh the horrors

out of nowhere yesteday, i felt dizzy and a little disoriented. admitting this next bit sucks, but i know that most of you will understand... dizzy and disoriented are not new to me. as all this is getting pieced together, i do see a lot of my self-inflicted ailments. i also have subtle ways of dealing with these ailments. so in my typical fashion, i broke down and got a glass of juice, took a few sips, and laid down for a bit.

i will spare you the gory details of the horrors of what happened soon after. i will say that i could barely stand, was frighteningly dizzy, sweating like crazy, threw up continuously for 30 minutes, and everything in my body hurt. once i made it into bed, i had chills and sweats and terrible aches and pains.

thankfully i did not throw up again. i did, however, suffer with the chills, sweats, aches and pains, and could not move. scary. i couldn't really open my eyes- nor could i see if i did. i had an *i wish i were dead* headache...

i am so very grateful that i am slowly rejoining life today. this could have been so much worse- lasting so much longer.

i'm sharing this b/c i am now faced with yesterday's perspective as i push through the realities of today... of tomorrow... and the next day. the emptiness-chaser in me has historically fallen in love with this extreme emptiness following such an illness. as some sickening giddy part wants to use *fear of throwing up again* as the basis for continued restriction, the part of me that was almost paralyzed with fear yesterday is saying *enough is enough*.

i have no doubt that this little virus hurt me so badly b/c of the severity of what i put my body through. there! i said it! i DO know that how i behave is not normal and is dangerous.

i HATED how i felt yesterday! i hated that loss of control of my limbs and mind. i hated feeling one step closer to being dead.

i vascilate b/t wanting all this **** out of my life and justifying it. this is ridiculous! thankfully it was one day... that it was only a virus... i might not be that fortunate next time. it may last longer. it might not be a stomach flu at all next time... i see many possible and sadly probable dangers lurking in my very near future.

today i followed the b.r.a.t. diet. yes, honeys- i AM eating. everything in me is yelling at me NOT TO EAT... but the residual shaky, tingling numbness in my legs reminds me of the dangers of restriction. my *please shoot me* headache is begging me to do something to get relief. i've had a couple of bites of apple sauce, a few banana slices, picked at some toast... and am now eating rice swimming in a sea of warm ricey broth...

if i can make myself eat today after the horrors of yesterday, i can doooooo this. during my very low point yesterday, i believe i realized that what i have been doing is not enough. it fucking kills me to write this, to admit this, to be more needy. therefore, i am recommiting myself to a mp- to weekly therapy. and am adding that i will look into a step up from what i am trying now. i do not plan on making any huge changes during the holiday season other that commiting to the mp... post holiday, i will take a more serious look at my options.

thank you for witnessing my incessant wailing. it really sucks when you realize how much your life sucks, you know?
namaste
xo

hey stonemala, i'm glad you got through this bug, hell, they can be nasty.
and i know what you mean about using them to further drop into ED behavior. just two days ago i was basically running to the toilet (yuk, sorry) all day. and deep down i was pleased about it, i didn't even care about the discomfort and stuff, cause i knew it'd help me lose weight, as you say, that it would empty me out. and i admit, i loved it. next day i weighed myself and ED was happy!

i think it's great that you acknowledged what was going on and that it made you commit more to fighting ED. be proud of yourself for it.
namaste

p.s.: what is the b.r.a.t. diet?

My dear beautiful stonemala, I have missed you dearly. I am so sorry that you feel sick. I am praying for you to feel better. Please let me know if you need, I will always be here for you and love you very much! Blessings, health, and love-Kasee

precious stonemala, I am sorry you were so sick yesterday...but I am so grateful you can see the dangers of it all. That is a big step for anyone!!

I am glad you are feeling better today, and I am even happier that you are trying to eat despite what your ED is telling you to do. I ate something other then a salad today...and I want to purge but instead I am going to sleep. So, you eat...and I won't purge...deal? ok good, glad we are on the same page ;)

I love you dearly!

~Ashley

[tears] i can not express my gratitude for your responses.

maedi- the brat diet is for upset tummies: banana, rice, apple sauce, and toast. i'm so sorry to hear that you feel so similarly to me... but misery does love company. :) thank you for sharing with me. it's all such a ***** to admit....
namaste xo

kasee, sweet fairy-god-daughter... please forgive me for not responding to you lately. humiliation and shame kept me from such connection. i have missed you too. if you want someone to listen re your break-up, i am always here for you...
love you, girlie xo

ashley, bride-to-be... i am honored that you shared with me. yes, sleep honey. sometimes there is simply a breaking point that pushes to do what is necessary. we are on the same page, sweet girlie...
sweet dreams xo
************************
at this moment in time, i feel myself vowing to NEVER purge again. i mean NEVER! yesterday was horrible. i can't impress upon you just how horrible. sickness does not normally get me down nor does it pay too much attention to me. i have been fortunate to have clumsily gone through life rarely ill. and when i am, i can downplay it and move through it pretty effortlessly--- b/c let's face it, we all know i like pain here and there...and enjoy illness here and there also... but yesterday???? omg- shoot me.

i have have have to stick to a mp so i won't eat things i'm not okay with, so i won't overeat things i'm not okay with...b/c when that happens that immediacy of the purge haunts me--- and following yesterday, i don't EVER want to throw up again... not EVER!

i hate my justification, my excuses, my comparisons, my claim to be able to do this.... tears. i minimize it all- and for what purpose? to continue to slowly torture myself? i can't doooo this anymore. i can't.

if i have to come on this site every gd day to re-commit, then i will do it. tears.
truth: i am miserable.
truth: i'm more unhappy with my current weight than i have been in decades- and it's LOW!!!!! obviously low weight DOES NOT translate into happiness! then why am i doing all this???????
truth: i am trying. tears. it is not enough.
truth: i don't know who i am anymore.
truth: i KNOW this is so much more than food. i need to learn how to just BE... no matter my weight. i need to learn how to NOT CARE about my weight. i need to learn not to respond to things through emptiness-chasing. and i need to learn to be okay with ME- i have no idea HOW to do that.... so even IF i were to move through a mp--- flipping out about my weight, responding by neeeeeeding emptiness, and being ever so unhappy with ME would still exist and would come back around as eating issues all over again.............

thank you for being my wailing wall- witnessing my incessant wailing.......
all my love
xo
ps: is it possible to be happy with your life but just not be happy with who you are in that life? hmmmmm

truth: you are beautiful and strong DESPITE your struggles.
truth: you can beat this.
truth: you ARE NOT alone.
truth: you are very loved.
truth: ED cannot have you...I will kick his ***.

**hugs**

you really are amazing and I can tell you want to fight. If it takes coming on the site a declaring it everyday then do it. Whatever it takes honey. Don't be ashamed about your struggles...and surely don't let that shame keep you from responding to your friends who love you...when you isolate you are doing the very thing ED wants you to do. Share your burdens so you don't have to carry them alone.

whenever I think about needing help I remember this story from the Bible. Even if you don't believe it is still an awesome story. I can't remember exactly how it goes and I don't know where the reference is...but it is about Moses and I know it is in Exodus (I just looked it up ha ha).

Pretty much the Israelites were in a battle and God blessed them with a win, BUT in order for them to win Moses had to keep his hands raised. If he lowered his hands the Israelites would begin to lose. Well, like any human would Moses grew tired and his hands started lowering. This is MOSES we are talking about. Strong-willed, write of the commandments...one of God's greatest servants....but despite all that he needed help. SO, two guys named Aaron and Hur decided to help him. They held his hands up for him!!!

All of this is to illustrate...we need to hold each other's hands up...so don't be ashamed when you need help love...that is what we are here for.

much love,
Ashley

p.s. sorry that was so long

stonemala and ashley, both sets of your truths are so true and they don't have to exclude each other, we just have to know how to make our way from the one to the other. and yes (just like in ashley's story) it can be done with help. and no matter how many tears you shed stonemala, you come on here and we listen, support, and try to help. we're all in this fight together, noone is alone.

i admire your commitment, no matter how you found it, all that matters is that you find enough good reasons to hold on to it: yourself, your health and happiness, the ones you love and who love you, nature and the sun :-) and more. just hold it tight, honey!!

namaste - may our minds meet
xxx

Amy.....love your truth, because it is yours....and it can be freeing!
Thinking of you today...wishing for time on that porch!! haha
xoxoxo namaste ♥

Amy,

I love your honesty and honor your recommitments. :) I'm soooo sorry that you're hurting so badly, dear friend... If I could somehow make it magically better/healed, I would... ♥ It has always amazed me, on my own journey... The moments I felt the lowest always seemed to push me in my recovery... Somehow the desperation to never feel THAT way again pushed me to dare to try something different... To trust others about what I needed to do, even though everything in me was screaming that I needed to do the opposite...

I'm thinking of you... ♥ With much compassion and great respect,

Love,

Jen

my spirit is bursting with unfamiliar emotion. overwhelmed by the outpouring of kindness, my ability to write personally and specifically is presently stunted. i feel a very strong commitment to respond to each of you- i just need time for this bursting spirit of mine to recover from the stun of such kindness.

i wasn't sure if i was going to need to do this public-re-commitment thing. i love to focus on one good deed while everything else falls apart. yesterday, my good deed was eating my way through the day- thoughtfully, spreading it out, not over or under doing any of it. my declaration to continue that into today came from such a desperate place yesterday. feeling far LESS desperate today, i find that it is 10:00 am already- and nothing has been put into my body.

yes, i need to be public with this re-commitment EVERY DAY. when i sign off, i am going to follow my mp. adopting it as a new *rule* is so fucking difficult- but when i see that it's designed to help me NOT overeat, somehow my deranged psyche is okay with trying to put this new rule into place.

restricting ONLY makes me crazy, sets me up to overeat, and the pain is beginning to outweigh the *pleasure*. i am going to spread out my cals and eat what is on the fucking mp. sigh.

thank you for witnessing my sophomoric woes............
more later...
namaste and love
xo

always here to help aou get through your commitment. be proud for doing it and know that it'll only do you good!

lots of love
maedi

Amy, your strength, insight and honesty is inspiring to me. Many of the words you said really resonate with me. In fact, many of your posts have really helped in normalizing my own thoughts and feelings. Thank you. I do hope you continue to share :) Anything I can do to help, just let me know
Since you've been trying to use us to help you follow through on your commitment, I wanted to check in- how's your meal plan going?

well hell's bells, chickies!
i don't deserve such kind, attentive support... :) [sheepish grin]

bride-to-be, ashley...
i am a huge fan of any historically significant reference. i am grateful for this vision of moses receiving a little help from his posse, b/c you are right- even MOSES needed help... we, too, can accept a little help from our posse at times, eh?
i am deeply touched by the kind sentiments you continue to shower upon me. never would i have thought that i would develop a connection with people who could empathize as well as express such cherished kindness toward me. my spirit bows to your spirit, ashley... xo

maedi, sweetie...
commiting is not easy for me... b/c once i commit, i can not allow myself to take it so lightly any longer--- plus i WANT to be good at EVERYTHING to which i commit... and this bunch of **** is surprisingly difficult. i'm more grateful than i can express for your support. you are right: no one is alone... our minds have met. thank you, sweet sister... xo

tinkerbell, jan...
using such a strong word as *love* when referencing my truth seems too powerful... my truth scares me, depresses me, and hurts me. sometimes i HATE my truth. i'm grateful that feel love as you witness my truth.
and yep! back out on the porch quicker than expected, honey! just call me marge schott- cough cough- smoke 'em if you got 'em!!!!!! [we can partake in a *we don't smoke* token :)--- b/c if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me!!!!!!!]
my soul is grateful for our connection... xo

sky-writer, jen...
you said it, honey- i've been dared to try something different... funny how low points can really push us. i just can not resign myself to the idea of TRUSTING OTHERS to make decisions for me. i do not want some fool-incident to force that scene...so i'll be here to fucking commit and re-commit. my heart feels the warm hug of your compassion. cb loves you, hon... xo

fragile and darling chelsea...
you are TOO kind to reference strength and insight. honesty? i AM trying something VERY NEW... so i DO appreciate the kind words and will accept that recognition regarding honesty. strength and insight??? i'm more of a delicate tangle with my tail tucked, you know?
thank you for asking me what i need... others have asked the same to which i have given no answer. what i think i need is a response now and again, a connection, bits of empathy, and support. each of you give me so much of all those treasured concepts... i feel as if i have a hand to hold at times---and just that little warm feeling of connection that hand-holding can provide is sometimes simply all i need.
thank you for asking about the mp. i wrote out a small report this morning that was predictably lost when i directed my attention to my quarrelsome children... i will try to pick up where i left off...
namaste and love, my kindred sis... xo
**********
i am here to tell you that what i'm about to write will shock you as much as it shocked me: are you sitting down? i had the highest caloric amount yesterday than i have had in a long damned time. now, i DID allow myself 3 servings of sprite...which completely jacked up the cals... but the FACT remains that my number was higher- and regardless the reason, i'm still doin' the *i did it* dance. :)

i sketched out a mp....
and had one hell of a lunch, let me tell you! *where's the chicken*- noodle soup, a bean and vegan cheese burrito, salad WITH sesame sticks AND sunflower seeds, and apple slices. i know! shut up already! right?!

i'm here to commit to writing out a more detailed mp and actually F-O-L-L-O-W-I-N-G it. i'm commiting to spreading out my cals throughout the day... so i don't set myself up to overeat. i will sit with IT ALL. i will TRY TO DISTRACT so i won't be so fucking moody about it all... and i will return to this wailing wall when i need a release. deep breath.

so far so good today. i'm not perfect and don't expect myself to be; but in that SAME breath i'm sick of making excuses for myself. balance, routine, harmony, less polar, less extreme.

i cherish your witnessing souls and bow to each of you. thank you for holding my hand.
namaste and sincere love
amy xo

Amy: As usual I am late to the post... I LOVE you and I am soooo proud of you. YOu are making tremendous strides and I am truly sorry you had to suffer so much to get there. Nothing sucks worse than the flu virus; it can make you feel like you are dying.
I pray for you each and every day.
I know I have been scarce on here. I am now very much into a 12 step program which us working tremendously for me; healing the inside first. I will tell more when I have time
In the meantime you keep fighting Amy. We are all with you!

love ya amy!

amy, i know what u mean about comitting on here, or anywhere else for that matter. if i do commit on here i have to be sure i can make it, i have to be prepared, no failure allowed, no matter how understanding everyone is on here.
but maybe thats another challenge for us. to allow for less than perfect. in the end, that's what got us into ED, right?!

good morning molly, maureen, maedi, and my sisterhood-
i'm grateful for your check-ins on me. even the small *love ya* makes a huge difference.
molly, i'm looking forward to hearing more about your 12 steps.....
and maedi, yes, the catch-22 of me making excuses or needing perfection... middle ground, here i come!

i have yet to sketch out a mp for today, but i commit to doing it. i will spread out my cals throughout the day. i will chew even when my jaw aches. i will swallow even when tastes and textures take their turns-for-the-worst. i will do my fucking best to allow what i have done the past couple of days to carry over into my week [seems to be more difficult during the week].

oh yeah, yesterday went very well. spread everything out. continued to eat all that i'd put on my plate despite my growing ickness toward it all. and managed a snack at the end of the day with my kids. felt weeble-ish and had dreams of being too large; but this will pass, right? sigh.

thanks, my sisterhood, for being my wailing-wall-foundation....for being here for me, witnessing my wailing, and for checking in and supporting me.

much love
namaste
amy xoxo

Amy....like it or now....we are cheering for you ♥
The strength you have is difficult to channel in this direction. I know that, but as you can see, we expect nothing from you except YOU....and that's enough...day by day....we are with you...love you friend! ♥

jan, loving the new pic, now we can finally see the wonderful woman behind all wisdom :-)

amy, congrats on achieving everything you set yourself yesterday, be proud!! grey is the key, not back or white only...

xxxxxxx