I sit here with tears running down my face drowning in the deep, dark waters of my depression. I sit here in my cold room starring out of the window into the future of my chilling existence for my day to day life, as I write this I say to myself that I want to die if things don't change Meanwhile tears keep falling off my cheeks as the old ones start to fade. I wonder what will my future bring? ,more sadness more fear, false realities because of FEAR!! I admit I'm scared I've never been so scared in my whole entire life I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GROW!!! cold air hits my skin as my heart breaks from pain and sin.
Hang in there sweetie. "Hold on for one more day." That's my theme when I get feeling that way. Let yourself be sad, and then do one little thing, one little step, like watch a 1/2 hour sitcom, open a magazine, walk outside and check the mail, feed a pet, breathe slowly and meditate, clear your mind. Just hang in there and let the tears have a purpose.
Hey,
Are you seeing a therapist for your depression. You have been through so much sweetie and you are missing your son like crazy too. i think you should these out with a professional, they may also be able to guide you as to how to get your son back.
You are being so strong hun. Keep up the good work and just move from day to day. But try stay optimistic for your sons sake, you will get him back, just keep scratching at any means possible.
Love to you
Moongal x
Hi aidansmom22881, I agree with moongal that you should seek professional help. You can start with seeing your doctor for help. They can recommend someone for you to see. Reading your post, reminded me when I was living in Turkey back in the early 1990's. I remember looking out the window one day, it was raining outside. I thought to myself it is raining outside and inside the house also because tears were just streaming down my face. I was so very depressed. I finally went to see a doctor and he recommended a counselor. I saw the counselor that same day - talked to him for about an hour and felt better when I left. I went back to see the counselor for a while after that. i eventually got better. Help is available for you. I suggest starting today by calling your doctor. Keep us posted on how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
hamg in there be strong everything will get better!!! i will be praying for you!!! be strong!!!
What you don't realize, is that you are growing. I know you are in a low spot right now, but you do have purpose. I have found that with each and every depression I survive through, I gain more wisdom, learn more about myself and the world, and grow as a person. I know the feeling of being stuck in a dark place and trying to get out.....wondering if I will get out. Wondering what will be waiting for me when/if I get out.
Just give yourself some credit. Be kind to yourself. And like others have said, find some little things that bring you happiness. Small things, small steps. One foot at a time, one minute at a time, and know that you are loved;)
Although you feel alone, you are not..... please remember that;)
Have you been diagnosed by a professional? If so, are you on any medication to help you stabilize? I am very concerned for you and want to help. If you don't have a diagnosis you are not being treated and that is not healthy. I know you feel desparate and the pain seems endless...I've been there many times. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 50 and I have more than survived...I am happy. I know I cycle. But today I am happy. I live one day at a time. When I have been depressed like you are right now, I take 5 minutes at a time.
Do this: get a big piece of paper. On it write:______________(your name) YOU ARE OK. YOU ARE OK. NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP.
Tape it to your bathroom or bedroom mirror and stare at yourself in the eye...really look at yourself and recite the above. Do it over and over and over and hopefully you will feel some relief or ground yourself for the moment.
Thank you for the advice on PM I didn't realize that was an option.
If anything you just might have been the one to give her ex - should he be looking online - an idea this could be a ZIP code and how to find her.
And: this is a two year old post by the way, and stats show that the person who created this discussion hasn't posted on here since 2010. Digging up old threads often makes people worry, because they don't assume old posts with situations long expired are being replied to again.
I even had to change the title of one of my own threads because you replied to it weeks after I posted it and people were very worried about me. There are way to avoid that by responding to current topics.