So I was admitted to the hospital last night because I had a very low heart rate. They did blood tests and stuck an IV into my arm because they wanted to make sure that it was because of the ED and not something else. It was very late when I was told I could go home, but I have to wear this thing that monitors my heart rate for 24 hours.
This was.. like a wake up call for me. I was so scared I was going to die. I mean, were talking about my HEART here! Ed like spoke up saying "Congrats, your first organ is failing, your officially anorexic!" Was I suppose to feel good? No. I was terrified. I kept crying that I wanted to go home. The doctors and therapist told me that if I did not change my ways, this would be my future. Hospitals and tubes.
I'm still afraid.. but I want to try even harder.