A while back I went to two counseling sessions.... what's th

A while back I went to two counseling sessions.... what's the point of counseling? I've tried it before... it never helps... all you do is bring up negative things... without any resolution.... you walk away feeling just as depressed if not more so...
I hold all my feeling in... I alienate myself... I hate feeling depressed and worthless all the time... I hate burdening others... so, I keep to myself.... which, is more depressing... I don't want to live like this... makes me not want to live.
I'm so sick of being alone.
I was in a really abusive relationship with a narcisist. Then, I met someone who treated me good... he didn't yell at me, call me names, or hit me... but, I ran from tlhe relationship when he called me a 'B..ch" I really loved him.
Now, I find out he has moved on with someone else. I'm devestated. Why live? I will never find someone else... :(

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Sorry to hear that

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"I hold all my feeling in... I alienate myself... I hate feeling depressed and worthless all the time... I hate burdening others... so, I keep to myself.... which, is more"

This is why ur still upset. And this is what you need to seek out counseling for to fix. You can talk to me cause I understand it. Please.

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@bigbrotherjohn Look at what I wrote to Heather01 right below you… How is counseling supposed to help me feel better about my family rejecting me?

Hi Classy, number one, Live YES because you alone are worth living for. Your worth is not dependant on what others think or don't think. It hurts when people reject us and your pain is not minimised, but what are you telling yourself each day? write the thoughts down. put everything into perspective. Is it true? Am I really like that ? answer honestly including no.when people say things to us in a throw away manner we can choose to reject that word outright, its usually designed to hurt. If people who care about us say things try to look at it objectively. and if true apologise as soon as possible and make an effort to change that and if not true, reject it. Most things are made bigger than they really are when we feel low. Keep talking, the very thing you don't want to do. the enemy of those in depression is silence. Talk on here, play positive music. do not give in. YOU ARE WORTH IT. Now write down 5 things about yourself that are good qualities you have. and don't say none :-) and read them over again, change the negative self talk and replace it with I am a worthwhile person, I am good at........ am kind.... ect. I look forward to hearing your reply
kind regards Heather :-)

@Heather01 Reading what you wrote brought tears to my eyes… I never thought about it like that…
“write the thoughts down… is it true?.. CHOOSE to reject the word outright”
I know… I’m a good person… with morals… and would be there for someone else if they needed me (like my brother calling me at 4 am drunk… fighting with his girlfriend… needing a ride) I’ve always been there when people needed me (but I haven’t found anyone I can count on) I’m a caringe person… People look at me like I’m really strong… but, they don’t see what I’m feeling inside because I keep everything bottled up…
The lastest thing I’m soooo hurt and devestated about is: I was my biological mother’s primary caregiver… my brother was stealing her pain pills and took money… I textd my sister’s and told them (my sister knew my brother had taken our mother’s pills before because I put it on speaker phone… so he had to admit it) this time he denied it… which I expected.
My sister’s rallied around my brother… lied for him to the Agency I was working for and said “I took the pills” she then took over my job and gets paid for hours she doesn’t even put in… and our mother has diabetes so needs insulin and fast acting insulin throughout the day to keep her sugar down… she has ended up in the ER and to the Rehab
So, they all lied and backed up our alcoholic brother who was stealing her pills to get high…
What kills me… is my sister’s act all holier than everyone else because they are Elder’s wives in their religion (where they’re not suppose to lie)
So, I’ve been pushed out of the family for telling the truth… so, I have no one…
I didn’t even go to my supervisor’s and tell them about him stealing the pills and taking the money… I told my sisters in text messages… they turned around and lied to the Agency to cover for my brother because they were afraid I was going to tell on him…
i could have been prosecuted for theft of my mother’s meds if it wasn’t for the fact that I STILL HAD IN MY POSSESSION A HARD COPY OF THE PAIN MEDICATION PRESCRIPTION THAT I HAD NEVER EVEN FILLED… I had been holding onto it for the past two weeks because I was filling it as needed… I turned over the paper prescription and meds to the prescribing doctor… per the CHAIN OF COMMAND… the Mgr at the doctor’s office called the police and informed them I had not taken them… which cleared me…
But, my family has has nothing to do with me for the past year… I am devestated and heartbroken… without family what’s the point in life?

@Classy Don't let an abusive relationship turn you away from all relationships, alienate yourself, depress you, bring you down and make you feel worthless because you're not! Not all guys are a$$holes, there are good guys out there. My wife is abusive and treats me like complete sh*t (worst than I've ever been treated in my life) and I've spent years just taking it and it really brought me down and killed my self esteem. I feel like can't leave because she's a drug addict and can't take care of herself but that's a different story, but one day I woke up after people have been telling me for SO long that I can't keep living that way and realized that I have to live my life for me and not let someone else bring me down. That's what you need to do. If your ex was abusive it's good you left, you deserve better anyway and don't have to put up with that. Not all guys are like that though, I know we get a bad reputation and reading posts on this site it seems like every guy is an a$$hole but that's not true. Don't let bad relationship taint every other relationship you have going forward, of course no one should call you names and treat you like sh*t though but don't let that one relationship dictate every other one. And you are worth living for don't let some a$$hole make you think otherwise and if he does F him! I've been through it and and am going through it now, it's hard people's words can really affect you but once you start to look at yourself and not care what other people say your self esteem changes so much but you cant' let other peoples negative words affect you, just ignore it and don't let it get to you. If he was treating you like s*it it's good that relationship is done, you're too good of a person to have to put up with that but don't for a second think it's anything to do with you or you life isn't worth living but IT IS. Don't let it bring you down or make you keep to yourself, talk to other people and socialize believe me it's helped SO much for me, just to be with people and be me. It's really woken me up. If someone treats you like crap F them they're not worth being in your life anyway don't ever let and a$$hole like that affect you, you're too good for that. BTW I was thinking of therapy and everyone in my family tells me I need it but I don't know if it will really work and like you said I think I'd just walk out and reflect on all of the $hitty things I've been through. Does it do anything for you?

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@Home2112 You’re a really good man to stay with your wife throughout all of the abuse.
THe abusive relationship really destroyed my self esteem and has trapped me all up inside my own mind. I can’t breathe. I want to cry but I can’t. I’m not okay. I can’t move forward. I’m just stuck in place… immobile.
I’m not saying counseling won’t help you… it just hasn’t helped me yet.

There is always some one better when me and my ex broke up I could not even live with out him but fate/ God what ever you call it brought me someone much more loving, kind and he has never left me. Good luck friend. Me and the second guy have been married 11 years now.

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@Aceland I am really happy for you… Unfortunately for me, I did me someone after my abusive relationship and I screwed it up.
He was really good to me… he wanted to marry me… it scared me…
He treated me really well… he told me all the time he “adored me” he brought me out to dinner all the time… bought me flowers. etc.
There were a few minor things that bothered me… he said to me a few times “you will show me respect” or “you will say something nice to me” then, when I was telling him how something needed to be done at my work place and I guess I got a little irritated he called me “a B…tch” and I ended the relationship.
i got scared because of the previous abusive relationship and my own fear destroyed a potentially good relationship. Maybe I just am too scarred to know how to be in a good relationship… or how to accept love and being treated good.
I was with him for two years… he really was a good man and treated me really good. I have tried to reconnect with him but he has moved on and is seeing someone else… I am devestated. I really loved him. I don’t know how to move forward or how to date anymore… too scared.

why suppose you'll never find someone else? I get that feeling sometimes myself, but I think it's generally flawed emotional thinking, taking something as true that feels true, just because it feels true. This tends not to correspond to reality all that well. Emotional detachment certainly makes it hard to connect with people (I know, believe me) but it is something that can change over time. Even if you suppose you're not capable of connecting with someone romantically right now, that's no guarantee that all future versions of you will be that way.

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