A whole 'nother level...(don't read this if you're making progress)

I'm 30 years into my agorophobia and I thought I'd gone through the worst of it a long time ago. In fact I've been living a somewhat normal life for some years now. True, I'm at home most of the time but I can go places on my own and the panic attacks are rare. So I had no idea that THIS was coming...just like the first time.

My son-in-law, who lives with me, has been having fits of paranoid delusions...thinks everybody is talking about him, plotting against him, etc. He has rages when they get bad enough; we just experienced one episode last Thursday night. His mother is schizophrenic and he has fears of it happening to him...so he avoids getting help for it.

Growing up my father had a violent personality and had these rages; another man that was so afraid of his mental illness that he wouldn't get treatment for it. He self-medicated with alcohol, which was his cause of death finally. I was so affected by him I spent my childhood in fear and just praying to make it out. In part, at least, this is a major reason for my agoraphobia. In childhood I was afraid to come home; in adulthood I became afraid to LEAVE my home.

Now I have this man in my house, who does have access to guns BTW, and I have become confined to my bedroom. I'm afraid to leave the room in case he's out there. I can't even get something to drink, and I have to listen at the door to make sure no one's out there if I have to use the bathroom.

I'm losing so much...not just my sanity again but my family too. My daughter and her children are here and they are my life. To not see them and help raise the children would be devastating.

I think they are finally working on getting him to a psychiatrist, but they had 2 appointments this past week that they skipped so I'm not holding my breath on that either.

At this point I am confined to my bedroom and my fear is that it will just get worse. Of course I have the accompinying depression and I'm living on Xanax...again. So many years of work and progress and I'm down to this. Help.

I hate to say it but if that was me, hed have to find somewhere else to go. Son in law or not. You cant be kind to the point where youre denying your own basic needs, one of which is safety.When you say he has access to guns, is there anyway you can cut off that access? Might make you feel a little safer.

Remember too this is YOUR house, not his. I know its scarry but you need to let him know that if hes going to stay there hes GOING to get help whether he likes it or not or he can go somewhere else. I know too youre probably worried your daughter would get pissed and leave and that doesnt seem like an option but honestly you cant live the rest of your life in your bedroom afraid eating xanex.

Find out the psychiatrist they are taking him to and maybe talk to them about how youre feeling and the psychiatrist will probably work with you as well and that will mean that you are making some real strides toward resolving the sittuation plus youll have the psyche dr in your corner as well. Also it will help your son in law because you can tell the doctor about his behaviour, something the son in law may not be likely to do honestly at first. By law that psychiatrist cant tell the son in law what youve told him because you will have told it to him in confidence but he can use that knowledge to treat him.

Main thing is you said you beat agorophobia once, you can beat this too. Im not agorophobic but I do live like a hermit so its very similar and i know very well what its like to live in fear. You dont have to live that way.

Thank you!!!And I mean that thank you in the most profound way. I finally took a breath! I needed a response worse than I knew. Your well thought out and expressed message turned something back on in me that was fading fast. That suggestion about seeing the same psychiatrist was brilliant.

I tell you…when I went through the agoraphobia at first I thought it was the worst…and all those years of struggle to get back to as close to normal as I can be. But this threw me for a loop…hiding out in my bedroom! At the mercy of this jerk! The fear took on a whole new dimension…a much smaller one for me.

Right now he’s out of the house and my bedroom door is wide open, but I haven’t been able to work up the courage to shower yet. I’m working on it. That’s been a problem in the past too. I was at home alone in the shower once and a man broke in. ~shudder~

One step at a time.

And no, I have no control over his guns.

It is understandable that you had a set back. You have a man in your house who reminds you of a troubled childhood that started your agoraphobia. I have to agree with the other post and that maybe he needs to go. You come first. Just remember you are so strong that you controlled it for years and that you will again. Just don't be afraid to ask for help.