abused daily by father for 9 years.
told mom after a year of it. she just laughed.
finally told my siblings when my children were the age I was when he started on me.
confronted my parents. they didn't see what the big deal was.
so.
I cut off contact. I felt that keeping things 'normal' was like agreeing with them.
now I struggle with major depressive disorder and PTSD
@new_kid I totally understand you. I too am a survivor of sexual abuse by my father and a mother who was an enabler and turned a blind eye to maintain a façade of normalcy. I too cut of contact in later years, realizing that they will never change, therefore I had to do the most healthy thing which was protect myself and move on in healing. Do you know how I finally found help? By talking about it, really just to process through the trauma, with a trusted friend/counselor. The most freeing, greatest healing came when I forgave him. I didn't do it because he deserved forgiveness, but I did it out of an act of obedience to my creator, God. I placed my trust in my heavenly Father who would never abuse me, never leave me or forsake me. I forgave willfully because I knew my relationship with the Lord would be hindered, at first I had all kinds of anger, bitterness, rage and thoughts that I hadn't really forgiven him, so I would surrender that thought or emotion and willfully forgive again. After making this my new habit, it got easier and easier and more and more genuine until I was free from the pain of the past. Free from guilt, depression and bitterness. In it's place is now Joy, Peace, Fulfillment because you see, I didn't deserve forgiveness from my sins when Jesus Christ died for me taking the guilt of my sins away. So, how was I to not forgive when it was so freely extended to me. I pray you find peace my friend, find freedom and HOPE. Here's the phone number to call to speak with someone regarding finding a local counselor in your area if you are interested. 855-382-5433
1 Heart
@RoseyViolet I’m sorry to hear that you were treated so badly.
I became a Christian in '74 during the Jesus Movement and wrote a letter from college to my parents explaining why I no longer wanted to murder them. My father wrote back saying that, while he had had an ‘emotional experience’ at a revival meeting as a young man, he did not subscribe to any recognized religion, rather believed in the ‘brotherhood of man.’ I thought it awful and hypocritical that my suffering somehow fit into his philosophy but I did decide to forgive, to release his debt to me into God’s hand. It took years of daily deciding before it became a settled thing in me.
None of this changed my symptoms. Spending 29 years in an abusive marriage didn’t do me any favors either. My mental health became overtly troublesome beginning with the divorce and for the next ten years. Meds control most of the depression now but I still deal with other symptoms.
I'm so sorry to hear this... there is hope, freedom and true love available to you. I pray you find peace, strength and release from the abuse of it all. There is true healing, hope and joy even in the midst of the carnage of abuse and pain. Perhaps reading your Bible and asking God to reveal to your heart exactly the timely word He would have for you each day.
@funmommy123 I’m sorry to hear that you know this feeling. So many people should never be in charge of children, too many. It baffles me how every day they choose to do the wrong thing. Every stinking day.
But here we are. We survived when they didn’t care if we did or not. We’ve taken some damage but we are still standing.