Does anyone else have trouble accepting the fact that what others have done to them is abuse? I find that I am too willing to defend other people's actions. It is more than just not wanting them to get in trouble. I honestly feel they were just being normal even though it hurt me.
I have grown up with abuse since I was young, then sporac bf's have been abusive as well, mainly verball. We were trained it does not matter how you feel or what you have to say, just shut up take it and dont get in the way. You grow up yes hating but accepting these role models, these people that keep you alive as just something you deal with. I think that mentality carries on into adult hood, we just put up with whoever is abusing us and sometimes its just normal since thats how we were raised. We actually might be more accepting of someone with those behaviors just because it puts our minds in a familiarity. This is all just stuff I think. No abuser is ok for what they do so dont fool your mind anymore , dont defend them. I havent fully delt with all these issues in my life but im hoping to seek a therapist to help change ? Then why a person? How about your mom? Real love does not hurt.
I would not be here today if it was not for my mom. I really don't know how much she really knew about the way I was treated at school or even at Girl Scout events (even though she was one of the leaders and I think it would have been worse if she wasn't) I know that she did not know what went on with my brother. I could talk to her about a lot of things but not everything. She never used a belt to spank like my dad. I don't even remember her ever doing more than sending me to my room. She also never punished me for crying/screaming when I was beaten up by my siblings, like my dad did.