Adderall Addiction for the past three years

I have realized in the last few years ( since the adderall began ) how much my life had gone down hill. I was 19 years old the first time I took adderall, my older brother had it because he has ADHD, I was sitting at home and needed to be doing things, I knew he had it so I asked to use it. I took it and oh my gosh, my world - was amazing. I gave him money for his whole month and I took it every day. I have a lot of issues with my body image, and psychosis with that, that needs medical attention- very severe body image depression, but in that moment I had found a miracle that made me never want to eat - but , go go go! Its odd, I think onto my life since that day and it is all so destructive after. I quit my full time job and began partying non stop, I was becoming so skinny and I could not love it more. IT was ups and downs from there on out, I tricked my dr into thinking I had a mental disorder for it, but neglected to say the real mental disorders I had such as deppression and body image issues. I still til this day take it, not as much as I once did but the most sad part about it all is I realize I am most afraid of going off of it because of the weight gain. I suppose I should speak with a professional so I can try and treat that so my fear will let me let go of this drug addiction. Common sense says being starved is nothing to do to yourself, but I honestly cant think of a time in the last 3 years I have even thought of not being on it. My moods are not stable, I am so high all day and I crash at night, I also am weaning off of klonopin ( with drs help ) and as I get lower, the more mean I become at night when I used to cool down with my anxiety pills

Does any one know great advice about getting off of this horrible drug ?

you just have to stop you can not ween off it if you do not and you start taking more and more it can mess you up physically I developed TMJ my jaw moves on it's own to the side I rock all the time because I can't sit still
all because of neurological damage it caused me after being on it for so long if you already have body issues this will create more then just weight when I stopped I did not gain weight but I will have these issues for a lifetime

been on it i was prescribed it by a doctor and given 45mgs of short term adderall (the four hour power) three times a day and i am mentally ill as well. when you get clean it is going to be hell but trust me life it is good and if you work hard you can keep the body size you want. i have been there so message me if you have any questions. iheard voices and had extreme mood swings when i went off
Not Going Back