This is my first post, but I have a long time history with OCD and GAD that has gotten so much worse as a stay at home mom. I also have been diagnosed with bi-polar "lite", though I am not currently being treated for that.
I am so addicted to online shopping and I am draining our bank accounts regulary. My husband works very hard so I can stay home with the kids and I am spending most of what he is making.....he tries not to badger me about it, but is concerned for our finances and my addition.
My problem is shopping for deals. I don't do mindless overbuying, I spend enormous amounts of time researching to find the best deals and when I find a bunch of them, I just have a difficult time letting them pass me by. It is often for unessecary purchases, especially baby gadgets. I do a fair amount of resale for small profits, but it takes up a ton of my time.
I have been seeing a therapist for my anxiety and obsessive behaviors and just have not been able to get them in a healthy direction. I used to be very thin and was obsessed with working out. Now, I have an eating problem as well (overeating). I am on medication now to settle myself down as I was having anxiety attacks and getting very irratated and angry easily. I am doing better in that department now, but the shopping is just out of control.
Is there anyone else out there who has similar tendancies or problems? I could use help with this.....
nikkibbuyin
i have the same problem. i have ocd and mild bipolar,anxiety, and depression. i am bad about spending money until there isnt a dime left. one day i was so aggrivated and upset with myself i was going to cut up my bank card an my husband stopped me because he said that i may need it some time and that it wouldnt matter cuz my names on the account as well so i could just drive to the bank lol. like you though i am sick of doing this. my dr put me on a mood stabilizer to try to help me with this problem (the spending). well i quit taking it because all i wanted to do was sleep so ya i have been working with myself with self talk trying key word is trying to do better. will be sending prayers your way.
We all love shopping. The only suggestion is to avoid to get on line for this purpose. It will take time, but slowly it will get better. Stay strong and do not give up. God bless you.
Hi Nikki, I have very similar problem and actually joined Debtors anonymous back in September of last year...at the time I had enormous credit card debt due to overspending on things I dont' need. I love deals too, and am noticing an over abundance of them flowing into my email inbox! I try to just delete them and not even open them, knowing I need my money, not the things!!!
Anyway, I found the same thing with the shopping as you, when I had my son (14 years ago!) and I was home all the time after being in the workforce and in grad school, and very busy, I shopped to cope with my new, strange life at home alone with an infant. To this day I still struggle with the impulse to shop.
My advice to you is that a person with this issue, not sure it is a disorder, my therapist says I am definitely not bi-polar, is you need to have very limited access to the family bank account. Since you don't want to drain the account and put for family in jeopardy, just set up your own small account you can use for frivolous items. Set up the family account so that only your spouse has access to ensure that household funds are always there! tell your spouse you want to do this, and he will be very proud of you. Soon you will see that you are not spending that much and you will feel a sense of serenity and peace.
I have cut up all my credit cards, and am very proud of this. I have also seen my credit score go up huge! This is very empowering! I don't know if I will ever need more credit, but it feels really good to have a high score.
There are some really good books out there if you want to read about others like yourself, because you are very far from being alone.There are alot of us in the same boat! The key is to identify the problem and act to prevent it from taking over your life!!!
If you want list of books, send me a private message. I have read many.
Hugs!!! Abigail
Hi this is my first time being on a web site like this. I have just come to terms that I am a compulsive shopper and I am trying to learn more about it. I would also like to find support in this matter.
Hi Samantha, Welcome! It is a very big step to acknowledge the problem. I was in denial for a very long time. Read some of the posts here and on other support forums. I found it helpful to attend Debtor's anonymous. Not everyone there is actually in financial debt, they may be debting to themselves and family emotionally, and debting in the area of time. The readings are very helpful, I have found. It is also helpful to read books on this topic to hear the stories others have to tell. I always thought I was alone, but as soon as I took the leap of admitting the problem, I realized I was very far from alone.
LEt me know how I can be of assistance, and keep posting! we are here for you!
Hugs, Abigail
I know that I need some other things to do! I have had a very difficult time adjusting to being a stay at home mom.....I just need to cope in other ways! Thanks for everyones posts, it is nice to know that you are not alone. I am working on it, not doing great, but I am doing better.....it's like I've attached my identity to the stuff. We are getting ready to put our house up for sale so I have been letting go of many things. This is cleansing, yet, it makes me feel that I need to replace the losses. I think that is what the problem is right now.
Books are a good idea, but I probably have a few that I should read already in my house! haha
I will keep posting on my progress!
Thank you friends : )
I am a crazy shopper, Total addict. I spend 5 hours everyday shopping online. So much to so much that i have also mastered the art of getting the best deals online. Unfortunately my friends instead of stopping me encourage me further by hiring me as their personal shopper since i get them the best deals. Its getting a little too much now.
Maybe if i let go of my secret i will be free. Here it is.
The best way to save money is use a rebate site along with coupon codes. For instance i wanted to buy a bag from ebags.com i got a 20% coupon and an additional 10% rebate. Dont just use coupons or just use rebates. Use both. Ofcourse some sites allow only one option but they are very few. Most allow you to use both option. Check it out for yourself.
http://www.mrrebates.com?refid=556559