All I want to do right now

Is purge!! I ate so much today and already purged twice but I feel horrible because I ate some candy and now all I want to do is purge again, but i'm scared. My chest hurts and i have a headache but purging sounds like such a good stress reliever right now and I really don't want too but half of me is begging. AHHHH

Stay strong. If your chest is hurting, you could be in need of medical attention. You definitely don't want to purge again. The candy isn't going to make that much of a difference in the long run. You have already purged twice.
You may think you might get some stress relief but what happens if you purge and then have a heart attack? More stress I'm sure... I know it's hard and I know that you are scared of calories but I just watched someone die two days ago and it wasn't peaceful. It was awful. You don't want to risk dying. I have struggled with bulimia since I was 14. It has been under control for many years now. I promise you can get through this. Just take it a minute by minute. You deserve to be healthy. You don't want to purge it is the ED that wants you to purge. Hang in there.

hey stephanie, welcome to the site!
and it’s great that there is another ‘recoveree’ out there, especially when you just wanna give up yourself!

love
maedi

Hey Sonrisas,

Put on some music which reminds you of who you are as a person...some old music, music which makes you happy or that 'piece of broken glass' song that someone posted a while back.

After you've listened to the music, you should feel calmer. Then, perhaps try to take yourself for a little walk...nothing to strenuous, just a short walk to give you a breath of fresh air.

Then, after you return...try to make a plan for the week ahead. What lovely things can you do? Does your OP treatment start next week? Is it near to your home? Be easy on yourself...give yourself a break. At the end of today, do something lovely for yourself to show yourself that you are worth it. I'm going to have a little dance this evening to some of my favourite music.

It's ok that you've tripped and fallen on the path. I'm sure I'll have some falls ahead of myself on my journey too...but the most important thing is that you get straight back up - each time we get up, we learn a little more and fight a little harder...don't adhere to ED and its evil ways...you are SOMEBODY - the ED is not. Show it who you are and put your energy into yourself.

XX

Sonrias, I hope you were able to work your way through fighting the urge.....how did you make out sweetie?

hey sonrisas, how are you feeling now? i hope you realize that whatever happened it was only a slip up. you have done so well so far and it is only natural that ED sometimes gets the best of us. it doesn't mean that it beat you though; this was only one round whereas you are already way ahead of it!

are you starting OP tomorrow or Tuesday?

lots of hugs
maedi

I didn't purge. I resisted it but the acid reflux made me want to die ahhh. It sucked...i ended up taking laxatives and going to bed. It made me sad, but Maedi I start OP tuesday. Very early in the morning. SOOOO nervous. Thank you all for the love and support. I was having a really hard time last night and was really struggling but thank you all you made a huge difference <333333333333333

i wish u all the best sonrisas! i know this is for your best, itll help you gain power over ED!
so day like yesterday, when you win the battle, will be a regular occurence!
well done

x
xxx