Although last night was good for me, I found myself getting very triggered again today. Basically I had to be reminded of how some dude I know who doesn't give a **** has two women who just adore him. And no, the reason ISN'T because he doesn't give a ****. And if you have that idea in your head, get rid of it. I won't even acknowledge it. It's because they find him attractive on certain levels, mostly the fact he is a showman. And if a woman IS attracted to the fact he don't give a ****, she's not worth MY time. So either way, I don't want to hear any hypotheses about WHY. That doesn't matter AT ALL. I am different from HIM and love MY differences because I'm honest, and real, and have a conscience, and am valuable! What matters is that it's typical when I am involved (that someone ELSE can get several women and I get nothing), and that it always hurts like hell.
Do I want "several women?" No. I'd like just ONE woman who finds me as mutually desirable and matching as I do her. That's all. So yeah, I'm pretty frustrated right now.