I've been extremely angry today but instead of letting it consume me i decided to help someone else in need. I felt selfish for my actions. So I decided to come here to vent. Before my post was going to be called Sick of It All, but now my fires are calming and i am finding it soothing to be in my surroundings again. i don't know what triggers my anger and then thoughts of despair, it just simply happens. I just feel the overwhelming surge creep up and by then as I've just come into realization of it's existence, it's too late. I'm feeling very borderline today and rather random. it's almost like I cant get the static and voices out that scream inside my head. I just can't get a grasp on it today. But I am finding myself more comfortable as the time has passed, not as anxious. i'm going to try to do some self soothing excercises and see if that helps any.
Hey,
Good idea, a distraction away from it all can be all that we need sometimes.
It is awful when it all becomes overwelming and un-bearable I try to remind myself that this won't last long. I to find ways to keep my mind occupied and keep the intrusive thoughts away.
Have you ever considered talking to a counsellor or someone who could help with some strategies when these events occur. I know Counselling is not for everyone and I understand that. Even breathing exercises or Meditation etc.
Stay strong, take care of yourself :)
soulkiss
anger can be both a blessin and a pain, the fires are needed to overcome insurmountable mountains that make up our days but on the other hand we need to be the ones in control of it,
i like to think of anger as a toddler having a tantrum u have choices if u leave them to wear themselves out or distract them with something or go blue in the face trying to reason with them rationally
all these are sometimes necessary to be the imediate action and even more so in adults, its not why we are angry its how we display the anger thats important personally i march along muttering to my self till i calm down (distraction) my ocd child blips out everything is very dramatic but not sustained for long (wearing self out) and my beloved hubby is a thinker so we go round and round in circles untill we reach the end (rational thoughts)
as jai says do u get help with this and is it at a lvl where it infringes on others or is it self contained? and by the way what did u do for someone else?
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
yes sometimes my anger seems to motivate me to try harder at points in my life. the people in my home life also have diff ways of coping or helping me to cope. I do go to therapy and groups and have really enjoyed it. I work in my Dialectical Behavior Therapy workbook and some other books and that seems to help, journaling is also a big help. My anger is usually self contained but sometimes i have my moments where I lash out at my loved ones and then feel horribly guilty about it. They try to show me support as many ways as they can, most of the time i have a silenttype anger and I just don't want to be bothered.
As for helping someone else i did turn to this site to vent but instead ended up writing a very meaningful post to another in need. It calmed my anger and made me realize that not everything needs to be so tragic in life and that you can do good if you just set out to do so and take away the ego. Btw breathing excercises and meditation along with positive affirmations do seem to subside the beast a bit!
Love and Light
soulkiss
there u go hon u managed your anger with dignity and respect for someone who needed help and took a positive action u should be so proud of that i know i am that u managed to put others first whilst upset
lol i think tragic is so that we can laugh once we have survived the situation we are coping with at the time
loved ones will endure the swells of the seas as after the storm they will be in safe harbours once more just dont be so hard on yourself would u be upset if it was your loved ones lashing out? or would u want to help? why would they behave any differently just cos its u thats lost it for a while
have a good day
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Thank you for your kind words they mean a lot. I did do my best to help another and found it most revitalizing to do so. Everyone needs a helping soul to turn to so I turned my rage into a positive. I agree about being tragic lol, it does create a stress release once all is said and done.. I guess you are right I wouldnt want my loved ones to be upset and i would want to help them in any way that I could, to the best of my abilities anyway. I love the way you put things it enables me to put a new perspective on some of my issues, thank you!
Love and Light
soulkiss
helping others on this site and in life is what makes my life worthwhile too. not only is it distracting but it gives you the feeling that at least now you have done something right and honest, unselfish. i am sure that everyone really appreciates your input on here; your posts seem full of understanding, experience and care.
i am curious as to what soothing mechanisms you use? and which books were/are helpful to you?
love
maedi
I agree Maedi, it dose make life a bit more worthwhile when we file away our stigmas and so the right thing for yourself and others. I hope that just maybe i can effect just one persons life "If I can stop one heart from breaking I shall not live in vein"
As for soothing mechanisms I do a lot of reading and journaling, as well as the simple things like watching a movie or come here to help another. I do work in my Dialectical Therapy Skills workbook and i've been reading an AA book, plus I do a lot of affirmation readings and that really helps. I just finished Lost in the Mirror which is an excellent book on BPD. I enjoy meditation and reiki healing work as well as massage and just being with those whom care about me. If you have any books in mind that you can share im more than eager to listen! I also have a few others that may be interesting as well, I just always want to read them all at once lol! Thank you for your support your words are very meaningful and true to heart.
much love and light
you definitely save a lot of hearts from breaking, hun!!!
that for recommending that book, i shall look at it 
unfortunately i dont know any myself but there was a post on this recently by moto: http://anorexia.supportgroups.com/sgt/anorexia/self-help-book-club
maybe you can find some more on there or even post some of yours!
and thanks for all the ‘soothing’ ideas. i love reading too, it helps me get away from my own life and dream about happiness music is always great too, and you can choose it depending on your mood.
and i was actually thinking yesterday about maybe reading into the principles of buddhism, it’s such a strong spiritual lifestyle. even if i can only take a few ideas from it…
xxx
soulkiss and maedi
every time u write or post u are giving caring sharing people who offer unconditional help and support
so dont stop
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Hey soulkiss, I also find helping others and having someone to vent to helpful. Sometimes when I feel I need to go to a quiet place I go to my bathroom. Recently my youngest daughter covered the ceiling in my bathroom with those type of stars that after the light is on for a moment when you shut the light off the stars will glow in the dark. I absolutely love it. I go in there and sit in the dark and look at those stars and it is so very peaceful and quiet. It helps me to quiet my mind and calm myself.
Thank you Domestic! I really try my best to put others first and as always I appreciate your kindness, your words are always so meaningful!
bluidkiti, I find that a wonderful way to rid yourself of stress. Soothing techniques of any sorts is so powerful. Once you've found that sacred space you can turn to all else is cake! As a matter of fact I just bought my son some of those stars for x mas. I hope he enjoys them as much as I know I will!
love and light to you all!
soulkiss and blu
we allso have got some of those stars for xmas for the grandsons so im looking forward to the pleasure they will bring...
have a good day no matter what u do
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
all of you lovelies!!
you are truely amazing in helping and supporting everyone on here!
i do hope that once in a while you do sit back though and take care of yourselves!! otherwise you cant be here for us anymore :-)
xxxxxxxxxx
Hi sweeties! Thank you so much Maedi for the book suggestion and I think that Buddhism is such a wonderful place to find a soothing and spiritual comfort, I enjoy bits of it as well. And thanks for the music tip, I had almost forgotten how much I enjoyed music whenever I was happy or in pain. And also thank you for your heart felt words, I needed that this morning. My whole house is sick! ugh. But i will keep on keeping on and will always be here for you all. Oh and Maedi i also have a book that a friend recently gave to me called Notes to Myself-my struggle to become a person. i find it so wonderful and thats where I get a lot of my quotes from!
much love and light to you all!
to all
the books sound wonderful and i will have a look on amazon for them, as for music what better way to lift your spirits although i dont reccomend a hundred nursery rhymes with is our constant companion at home
have a great day no matter what u do
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Lol about the hundred nursery rhymes! You are such a good person in all that you do. You trully care about others and your loved ones and show it in so many wonderful ways!
very much love and light to you all!
soulkiss
why thank u hon for those kind words, it took a long time to get my family and i never could see myself as anything else than an enabler so ive been truely blessed
cant think why u dont want to borrow the hundred nursery rhyme cd
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Lol well the way I sleep the nursery rhymes might not be a bad idea lol. I'm glad you have your family and strong spirit, never let those go, you are trully blessed.
love and light!
"Anger"...is like a parsitite. It is a cancer...it will spread and consume you. It is only with deep understanding and compassion that we become immune.
It one of lifes emotions...that we don't what but does exist, and must be controlled.