Anorexia Athletica

Does anyone know anything about this?

I used to be fat, seriously fat. I was 5 foot 9 and ___ pounds. I was always a bigger kid and that carried into adulthood. I know it was based on poor diet choices and lack of exercise.

Last February of 2009, I joined up with Weightwatchers and saw immediate results.
I reached my goal in April of this year, which was ___ pounds.

My healthy weight range is ___-___.

Anyway, I've developed this cripling fear of gaining the weight back as I'm told and have read that only five per cent of people actually keep their weight off.

I think about food/food choices/exercising 24/7.
Everyone tells me I look sick and I'm a rail and too skinny, yet when I look in the mirror all I see is stomach fat, flabby arms and flabby upper legs.

I workout everyday, cut back on weekends, but if I don't workout, or have to skip a workout I feel so disgusting that, that's all I can focus on.

My period stopped in December 2009 and if I don't exercise I become irritable.
Yesterday I literally broke down because I'm sooo exhausted, but I don't know how to stop.

I talked to my SO about it, but I think it's hard to explain or hard for people to understand.

I eat a lot, mainly on weekends. I have fat Saturday's and eat what I want on Sunday's, but then come Monday I feel so guilty/fat/disgusting that it's almost not worth it. During the week I eat about ______ calories a day, burning ___ at the gym and I also go for an ___ brisk walk in the mornings and bike rides in the evenings.

I'm just hoping to connect with someone who is familiar with annorexia athletica.

I'm not really too familiar with it,but I have heard of it before. but it does sound like your really struggling with an eating disorder. it sounds like you have a serious calorie deficit,and it's making you sick. please please consider going to the doctor,okay? I know it's terrifying,it was for me too. but they can get you help,and you can be free of this someday. we're all here for you. :)

I have a doctors appointment scheduled for the 15th of July.
I don't really want to tell him, because though it's exhausting, I don't want to stop and gain weight.
It's a back and forth situation. One minute I think I'm OK for help and I can do this - then the next minute I change my mind and don't want help.

Normally I'm at the gym by now, but I'm stuck at work later and seriously in panic attack mode as I watch my time at the gym being eaten up by sitting and waiting.

i know how you feel. :( I constantly have this fear,like,who am I without my eating disorder? but we just have to remember it's the sickness that has a grip on us. the "eating disorder voice." it's so hard,but you have to do your best to fight it and not listen. I'll pray for you.:) you can do this!

i wanted to add too-something my doctor freaked me out about-is the amenorrhea. I have it too,and my doctor was freaking out about it,so even for that reason,you should bring it up. I guess it seriously raises our risk for osteoperosis,and it's one of the first signs of anorexia,or so she says. so just be careful,okay? hang in there.:)

I read about amenorrhea online too.
I passed out on May 14 and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. I got dizzy and woke up on the floor or a restaurant with my head bleeding.

I told the dr. in the ER then that I hadn't gotten my period since December and he didn't seem too concerned.
They did ECG's and blood work - everything came back normal.
What happened was my blood sugar dropped to 2.2 and my blood pressure was super low.

I tried to follow that up with my family doctor here, who pretty much rushed me out the door. So I booked in with another doctor.

I have a feeling this is going to lead to a nutritionist and to weight gain. I really don't want to go any higher than ___ though. At ___-___ I already feel like a cow, I can't imagine weighing almost ___ pounds more.

well,the only experience i have with the ER is from my uncle. he was an alcoholic,and we had to take him several times. But what I noticed is they never seemed concerned with him,or anyone else. it was like they'd been around it so much they no longer cared,you know? like they became numb to it somehow,and he was just another patient rather than a human being. what happened to you sounds terrifying. :( I can't believe he wasn't concerned,but I know a good doctor(heck,a good person!) would be.

It doesn't make sense to me either really,why it's such a big deal-my bloodwork and vitals came back okay too. but my doctor wouldn't shut up about how dangerous it is. idk. she really got to me,I think. Maybe you should keep looking for a better doctor? I know they're nearly impossible to find,but I think it would help.

I know how you feel about the weight gain part...I'm so afraid to gain anything,and I'm not even that underweight. but you sound really really skinny for your height,so just be careful,okay? the way I'm looking at it is,if i have to gain weight,I want it to be muscle,so I'm trying to meet my gramma half way. right now she doesn't care how i do it,just so long as I weigh more. idk. for me it's so much more about the fat than anything else,I'm terrified of fat,but not muscle,for some reason.

My BMI is ___ right now, so I'm at the low end of the healthy range. Healthy is considered ___ to ___.

My healthy weight range is ___ to ___...I'd panic at ___, but apparently everyone is different, so some people are supposed to be at the low end, while for other's it's too low and can make them ill. I assume I fall into that category.

Though, I still feel like I want to lose more weight, so I suppose that's where the problem is. At my lowest I was at ____, and when I got there I wanted to go down to ___, then the hospital incident happened.

So I have gained ___ pounds, but it feels horrible - and my need to workout, since gaining is way higher.

hi

having your period stop is not good in a young girl so please go and get it checked out,

as always

loving htoughts and positive vibes

Young girl? You're too kind - I'm turning 28 in August :)

domestic-I have it too. do you know more about it? my doctor just kept telling me how horrible it was,but not really anything else. what are the long term side effects? I've heard osteoperosis,but that's it so far. I guess what I mean is,I don't feel any different. if it weren't so bad,I would honestly say it's been nice-no cramps,I can't say I miss them,lol.

girls u are younger than my daughter so yes u are young girls :D

missed or stopped periods are often due to a hormonal inbalance that needs checking out, u might need to have an injection or given meds to correct it.

if u dont have the normal cycle to maintain your body health it could be an indication of structure changes inside the womb although at your age this is unlikely, u shouldnt have a prolapse

and yes u are quite right in later years u might have probs with the joints bones and other mundane things.

a quick pop to the docs or the well womans clinic will sort u both out and hopefully return those dreaded cramps to u in fine style

how to deal with cramps is a whole other issue

but please go seek help now

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes

Domestic,

They aren't missing their periods due to hormonal imbalances... They have serious eating disorders, and the loss of a period is a sure sign that calcium is being pulled straight out of their bones because they're starving their bodies... No pills needed... What they need is eating disorder treatment...

Melissa and Ella,

First of all, I hope you will both seriously look into treatment... Ammenorhea is a serious marker for an eating disorder... Your bodies are failing, whether you want to accept the need to change or not...

Please, please, please be careful with your posts here, ladies!! This is a pro-recovery site, which means that you are not to mention numbers. BMI, Weight, Size, hours of exercise, etc., can all be extremely triggering for you and for others in recovery... Please keep sharing! Write out your feelings; it REALLY helps! ♥ Just be careful that you aren't fueling your own, or anyone else's, eating disorder...

Melissa,

You sound like me... I've been in recovery for almost a year now, but I was once where you are... I went from being stuck in a binge eating cycle, obese, up and down with diets for 13 years... Then, when I finally got a handle on it, I was so terrified of gaining any weight that I thought it was "safer" to continue losing! I suffered with annorexia for three years. Even while underweight I was unsatisfied with my body. Once I came here and wrote often enough I accepted the fact that I really did need help. I've been working at this for a long time. Yes, I gained some weight. But it was necessary weight. I am healthy and NOT fat. :) I'm not happy with my body, but I'm working on that. I understand, today, that those feelings are far more emotionally charged than based on objective fact. If I look at facts, I can see that I'm at the low end of my healthy weight range.

Also... A note about BMI... It's not terribly accurate... Please don't put too much stock in it... It doesn't take body type or composition into account. It's possible to be very thin and have a fatty composition, and heavier with very dangerously low body fat... It's best to avoid these numbers altogether. I know the draw for that objective measure, but really? BMI, weight, size, hours at the gym, etc., can NOT measure your worth. ♥

Much love,

Jen

hopeful

u are probably quite right in what u say, but either way its the message that periods stoppin is not good i was trying to get across

and i dont know enough about the things we are not mentioning to make any more of a diagnoses then

SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

i gave a few of the problems it could b and the long term effects

whilst stating again they need to see the doc

as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes

Domestic,
I did find your posts helpful/encouraging. I've been reading up on my missed periods myself, so what you said makes sense.

I have a doctors app't on July 15, so I will see what he says, which I'm pretty sure I know what it'll be...
I guess there's no time like the present eh?

Hopeful,
Isn't it odd how it's so easy to go from one extreme (overeating/inactivity/obesity) to the other of exercising too much, not eating enough and being too skinny?

I read that something like five per cent of people keep the weight off after losing it, and reading that threw me into panic mode - I vowed to be in that five per cent.

Thanks for responding :)

I'm going to step in here.....some great points have been made here, but one thing that seems to be forgotten is that we insist that numbers not be used here. It's far too upsetting or triggering for many people. PLEASE respect this!
Amenorrhea, or the absence of menstrual periods is a common symptom for those who suffer with eating disorders. It's due to lack of adequate body fat, usually, which causes an imbalance in the production of the correct hormones, and, simple lack of nutrition prevents the body from functioning correctly. Jen is right, treatment and recovery (which means adequate nutrition) is the only true answer.
Excessive exercise can also cause this to happen, even if a person 'seems' to be eating 'enough'. But the truth comes back to unnaturally low body fat. Many female athletes have been rendered infertile due to this result of training and excessive involvement in athletics.
Blood test results are not always a good marker for an eating disorder. In fact, normal test results are common, when a person may actually be starving to death. When bulimia is present, certain electrolyte imbalances are great indicators, which is important to watch for, but for the most part, you cannot assume that nothing is wrong if blood tests come back 'normal'.
There is good information on this site, and many others regarding 'anorexia athletica'. Again, please refrain from sharing specific weights. weight loss stories, or anything that may promote dieting. Diets don't work, and they are the number one cause of the development of eating disorders.
External self-evaluation will never make a person happy. It will never work. Recovery and happiness is truly about internal qualities and embracing that part of who you are.
Take care....Jan ♥

im glad u are going to the docs to get it checked out

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes

yes, you girls are strongly disrespecting the rules of this site, like all over the place... it is really bad...if you want to talk pro recovery, do so, not pro ana...

if you keep in your state of a deadly disease that will kill you slowly and torturously, you will die.
no periods means you are DYING!

pure and simple. it aint no joke...

and no triggering posts here, my goodness this is recovery not pro ana..

and domestic, i think you need to do some research on ED before you give advice, although your advice is nice,it is misleading...

and melissa 28, did you not realise you had an extrordinay low blood sugar and low blood pressure, passed out and your head bleed??

ok does that not tell you --you are dying???