Any other men under 30 having a hard time finding a date? I just turned 29, haven't had a real date....well ....ever. Have had a few odd "dates" where the girl asked if I wanted to hangout or go to a dance... I am an introverted person. I am not drop dead gorgeous but don't think I'm the ugliest guy around. A bit over weight like most Americans (trying to lose weight though). Have a good job, own a house, 2 cars, a brain... Don't know why I can't get a date. Admittedly, I was never really all that interested in dating until after college because I was focused on school/career (I am an engineer so a lot of tough school to get through). And admittedly, I am quite picky, I know what I want/like and I feel like I deserve what I want. I have tried a few online dating sites and have gotten nowhere, not even so much as a like, honestly have wondered if there's something wrong with my profile, but it's not just one site, its all of them.... Maybe I don't have a good profile? My pictures aren't great? women online only message the good looking models? IDK... I have also asked a few women out in person (which being introverted is super hard for me), and got turned down (one because I am not religious and another because she was already dating someone else).
An additional note, I am absolutely terrified of asking a girl out in person. I have discovered a few reasons why. 1) I am TERRIBLE at guessing women's age so I'm afraid she will be too young (like illegally too young). 2) I am terrified she will say yes. I am not afraid of rejection, I understand why people say no, timing's not right, not the right fit, etc. But what if she says yes? Like I said, practically zero dating experience here. What do I do next? How will I screw this up? etc..
i am trying to not focus on dating i am not emotionally avalaible and i graduate soon from college so i am just going to like focus on that then do job searching and find a bf after i get a stable job
Yep, I totally agree, that's exactly what I did. But I am passed that point in my life now and would really like to start dating. Seems impossible for me.
Have you put yourself out there and liked/messaged people on those dating sites? Sometimes it can be easier should you speak with a few people you may have passed over initially upon seeing them. Since you stated your picky, so I'm curious if you may have passed over people because of that pickiness. Sometimes striking up a conversation with someone you may have passed over initially can be surprising in the end and you may find you have more in common with those individuals. Just a thought! Dating can be so hard when it comes to getting out of college/university and getting to meet people, I've been there also and ended up trying OKCupid before the big change that they underwent where now you need to use your real name. I'm sorry to know you're struggling in that area. I met my current partner when I messaged him, so maybe try and put yourself out there, and strike up a conversation, if you haven't already initiated one. I highly doubt any of this is helpful, but just wanted to throw this out there. I fully believe everyone has their soulmate in this world, don't give up, because they are out there! ... maybe waiting for you to message them. ;)
@MsTiffrny Thank you for the advice. I have started messaging and liking more people trying to cast a wider net, but I get nothing (and I mean NOTHING) in return. I have even tried taking the route of messaging people via Instagram when they have that on their tinder page (is that creepy, idk???) with no responses (other than one person telling me she doesn’t date anyone she doesn’t know which made no sense to me, but whatever). And no, Tinder is not the only thing I have tried, I hardly use it.
I was there too, Stop searching for the one.. just go out there and start talking to people, try your surroundings, the more people you know the more experience you get about how to connect with women, things will get easier and you will find a girl who will truly impress you.
I believe she is looking for you too.
@Asprin Thanks for the reply. I have stopped looking for the one and started reaching out more (I didn’t think the few people I have asked out in person were “the one,” but what the hell right?). Guess the message is just keep trying. Something’s bound to stick eventually I suppose…
Im not in your age group, but i had always thought there needed to be a spark. Looking back, i think there were a few men that could have been a fit based on true mutual care. I was expecting too much. But partly didnt work due to a dysfunctional family that would have sabotaged my relationships. Nothing i did was ever good enough.
I'm only have a few experience on online dating (not good ones) so I'm not much help there, I'm an introvert as well, if you're not having any luck with dating online even if it's hard I would try making small talk with more females. Like if your at a coffee shop and there is a young female in front of you, once she gets her drink you could ask her what she ordered because you're not sure on what to get. It doesn't come off as creepy and you just opened the door for conversation leaving it up to her. I'm sure your girl is out there looking for you too.