Any suggestions on how I can figure out my latest trigger?

So this is a question that has been bothering me recently. I know what my typical triggers are to make me want to self injure. I have learned to deal w/ them when they come up or avoid them if I can. But these last few weeks the need to self injure has been nagging. Nothing major more like the leftover ache of a sprained ankle not really bothering me but i am in a low grade constant state of reminder about it.

I am not going to backslide and start to cut again. I know I can make it thru but I can't for the life of me figure out what is triggering it. I have been journaling about it. I don't currently see a therapist and haven't for at least 5 years and before anyone asks I will if it gets to where I need to.

But right now I am just looking for suggestions some of you may have of trying to figure out what the issue might be. At this point the best I can come up with is that I have about 7 minor things going on right now none of which on their own would bring me to this point, BUT combined could it be that it they have just all added together to bring me to that edge?

What do you do when you know there is a trigger there somewhere and you just can't put your finger on what it is.

I feel like when you are trying to remember the name of someone and it is the tip of your tongue and if you just stop worrying about it for a bit you will remember it out of the blue.

My normal triggers were fairly obvious at the time when I fought to overcome them... this one isn't right out in the open.

Any thoughts, suggestions, comments gratefully appreciated

hi krisalis - i don’t cut, but can understand what its like to try and figure out and pinpoint what emotionally is going on. you may be right that it could be those separate things that all together are stressing you and bringing back the urge. I think continuing to write is really positive. maybee you can go back and reread the journals to see if something comes back out at you. also be so proud that you are strong and resisting the urge, but also that you have no trouble seeing a therapist when the time comes. Those are great achievements. keep writing here too.

what do all those things make you think or feel? separately as well as combined? do they simply keep you very busy? or do ou feel stressed? maybe it's just a matter of you not giving yourself enough time and care at the moment.or bored?
do you get enough good deep sleep?
or maybe none of the things is challenging enough so you feel dissatisfied
or does anything subconsciously remind you of any situations in the past when you did cut?
definitely keep journaling, not just about situations or whatever went on throughout your day but mainly the thoughts and feelins you had.

hope any of these questions may reveal somethign for you.

love
maedi

thanks to you both for the suggestions... I am going to keep journaling and will go back and look at them again and Maedi some really good questions you asked there so when I am journaling I will try to keep those in mind. Great night last night spend w/ my boyfriend. Somehow just being w/ him calms me down so I am hoping maybe I can thing more clearly today. I really appreciate this site and the people in this group.... Thank you again.

glad to help a bit, sweetie! let me know how you're doing!

love
maedi

Maedi....

thanks so much just for being available on this site... I want to let you know I notice how often you support everyone from giving advice to just letting them know you are there... You are an amazing person...

K with that out of the way I think I figured out why one of my triggers is... I knew I could not continue to afford to live where I am... I rent from my brother and have not paid him the rent in a while and I am feeling very guilty about that.... He just told me he really wants to sell the house and I was positive I would not be able to find a nice place to live.

But today I saw a very nice efficiency apt. Nice size bedroom and large eat in kitchen, tiny bath.. thats it.... I will need to sort out and get rid of stuff but that is not a bad thing. I don't have a table and chairs anyway so I have some options on how to set up the furniture...

Best of all is that it is small so it will be easy to keep clean. It is so easy for me to get overwhelmed in trying to keep my house clean... And that is one of my current issues too.. I recently had surgery and could not clean like I should and it got out of control and I don't know where to start... Well that is going to be easy cause I just clean as I pack either to keep (and if I cannot figure out where in the apt it is going to go I am not keeping it -- except a few items like my bicycle which I will get a very small storage unit to put it in) or to donate or to trash... I am not going to try to have a yard sale this time of year.

So after babbling thru all that what I wanted to let you know is that I am doing good, I seem to have figured out what was bothering and am starting to be proactive in changing that in my life which means the need is less and as soon as I get the move out of the way it will hopefully go back to just rearing it's ugly head in times of trouble again.

Thanks so much to both you and Victoria for the suggestions that helped me to work it out... I am glad to have a place like this to talk and am so happy to have found this site..

I'm in the same boat as you, I want to know what triggers the feeling of wanting to cut. I haven't felt like doing it in awhile but oddly enough, while in the hospital, I felt like doing it. I know that is bad but maybe it was just me working through something? Journaling is what I would suggest for figuring out what triggers you, like you said you're doing. Have you compared what is going on now with what has occurred in the past when you've cut?

krisalis, first of all, thanks :-) i love this site because it brought me togéther with the most amazing people ever and each of you deserves support. and loads of HUGS if that was possible!!
I'm really pleased that things turned around and you were able to detect the 'evil' :-) crazy how daily situations can put us in such a bad spot right?! why do we have to punish ourselves for something that could happen to anyone? i hope that in the future this bad spot will help you recognize other triggers right away.
and hope that you'll make your flat a nice and cosy home for you to be comfortable :-)

jen, welcome to the site!!
what were you in the hospital for if you don't mind me asking? don't you think that just being there could have been enough to trigger those thoughts?

xxx
maedi

krisalis - so glad you are feeling better, and its great that you have a positive attitude and are looking at the bright side of things. keep this outlook and you will keep feeling great.

I know u can do it as do u! Ur a strong beautiful women u just gotta stick it out and stay mindful of ur emotions! Thank u again for all of ur help! U have been really getting me through my recent struggles! Take care and be strong!

Hey you do not know what pain is,if you are the type that does this to other people later in your life,or harm animals, you will be found and severly dealt with.Knock it off now. signed Butterscotch