Anyone else think that their narcissistic person in their life is reachable?? I just don't see how he could really not see himself. I do think there is a chance. Am I crazy? Or living in a fantasy world??
1 Heart
not reachable .
cant love
cant miss you
know they are hurting you but no empathy to care
that's all you need to know .
hurts eh , , , x?
2 Hearts
@emmaboharris
That is the honest and sad truth of their cold heartedness.
I spent 15 years thinking I could reach him, make him see, help him, teach him, "save" him. And he used those 15 years by taking advantage and draining as much as he could from my good intentions. Short answer-sorry, not gonna happen.
3 Hearts
@annetrue
It’s time, patience and love wasted on a person incapable of anything but hurting you.
Your not crazy and your not living in a fantasy world trust me. My mom is narsistic so I know what your going through. Your going through a lot. They seam unreachable because when you need them, they don't come to help you because there only thinking of helping themselves. They put us on the back burner. If things don't benefit them, than they will flip out and find ways to get their way. They can't love anyone but themselves. Trust me, I'm not over the fact that my mother doesn't love me. She's not able to love me, and no matter what I do it's only fact I'm facing. It's something I need to accept and forgive how she treated me.
I stayed for 11 years because I thought I could reach him but at the end I lost myself trying to help him. I know that feeling of hope and faith that anything is possible to fight for them because we want them to be the person they promise and tell us they are capable of becoming. I lost almost everything to realize I lost myself trying to fix him. I understand that emotion and completely get where you are coming from.
2 Hearts
i wished and hoped for it forever...even when it was teh most hurtful things he had done (he cheated on me and was caught) EVVVEN then he still couldnt have empathy or see anything from my point of view. I finally left...while im still completely devestated right now i am on my road to recovery. Please realize you are better then that and you deserve soo much more
1 Heart
so true @tabbylady!
I do think they can change, but that can in no way come from other people. In fact, being there for them is a sure fire way to give them the green light to continue their behaviour.
Just protect yourself and learn to create boundaries with the people you meet. If they're too emotionally demoralising, try to limit your contact with them as much as possible, or cut them off completely.
i went to therapy with my x narc and he told the therapist that we were there because i needed to see how wrong I was. And so that i can see how he is always right. That day we broke up. I walked away....trying to teach him how important I am....so i gave him another 2 chances. Until 6 months ago.
Ugh just wrote this long reply and it didn't submit . Anyway thank u all very much!' I am so sorry for everyone's pain! Tabby I will be reading that article but won't he wake up? Is it all just a tough guy front? And he will realize that he loves me and bow down and become vulnerable? Like maybe he will have a nervous breakdown or a mid life crisis and something will click with him? Man I'm hopeless!! Going to read article now thank you again EVERYJNE!!
tried for 10 years, gave up. no point!
1 Heart