Just wondering because for a period of time I was one who seemed to have attatchments to two or more abusive people at time. Kind of to this day makes me feel like God doesnt like me or give a crap about me.
i found that it was the choices i made of who to get involved with or hang with question? why did you have these attachments? i promise it's more than having please abuse me stamped on the forehead as i thought for years
Question? is your husband abusive to you? If so Its the abuse that could be making you feel the way you do. God does love you he created you, he does not want to see you suffer.
Im not sure if you are in an abusive relationship? but you say that you have attachments to 2 abusive people. Sometimes we become co-dependant and attract abusive relationships. It can be a cycle you fall into.
Can you share more with us about these abusive people in your life?
we are here for you!
AG
My husband is not abusive thank God. It wouldnt be so bad if they just did their thing and then left me alone, but one is my mother, another is one i dated briefly and stupidly had a child with, then there is another who is no longer in my life but his abuse had such a bad impact on my life that im still paying for the time i spent around them and i got in that situation because he was a minister who was also a con man,and that wasnt a romantic relationship, i met him trying to do 'Gods work'. additionaly i had a roomate years ago,who was **** evil, and still shows up whereever she can to nose in my business and do dumb stuff like reporting 'anominously' to social services stuff she does not witness, stuff that isnt happening, i havent even seen her in 8yrs and we live 6hrs apart. When I stayed with her she was mean and gossiped about me to other people stuff, usually lies and great exxaggerations i chalked her behaviour up to immaturity, because she was younger, but didnt expect her to stalk me. None of these people have i treated poorly, my mother and I were fine until i got about 19 and expressed my very minor differences. Then when i refused to marry my childs father dispite she and my dads attempt to literally kidnap me to force me to do so, i mined a newfound hatred, disguised as love. Daughters father is Satan im in and out of court on lies, bogus ridiculous stuff, he gets away with everything, I end up getting cited for things im not doing and its been insane raising our daughter in the midst of it. He has done all kinds of things, and purposely uses visitation as an opportunity to manipulate and abuse me. one example*** when he found out i was working almost ever time he had visitation he would call me on Sunday at work to tell me he had to bring her to my house,early , so i would have to leave work and rush home, if i didnt he threatened to call social services and say i was neglecting and abandoning our daughter. Sorry so long.....i dont mean to be such a whiny vuctim but ive only been kind to these people even when they were evil, quite honestly because thats all i knew how to do, i was raised a pacifist and trained to turn the other cheek. The longer it seems that im good and nice it seems to be the longer i get runover. Then when i tried to fight i still get knocked down. So i just feel like im made to be run over and its hard for me to get a goid grip on self esteem because of this,its been difficult moving ahead in life because im always in the middle of a battle or inevitably waiting for a cruel battle i feel im going to lose based on the history of things.
i was in a cycle like ag was talking about for years. my experience was similar to yours in some ways. i’m sure ag can advise better. i found i was attracking and allowing this. can’t change people but i can change my reaction to them. their behaviors still hurt but i did’nt have to play the game. let your babies dad make the calls, if your doing what your supposed to do should be no issue. i had to stop letting people dictate my life. its not easy but can be done. made for a whole lot less drama in my life. let them whirl. ag…look forward to your response
i have a few issues on this site and a good lot of it is interrelated, here and there. I think my present struggle is something to distract me from the incessant thoughts ,it became my habit to obssessively try to find a solution to a solutionless problem and that got to be overwhelming especially recently. Is there another type of treatment for this sort of thing. I was even looking into being hypnotised into forgetting all of the bad stuff , so i could just face everyday new, without fear.
for some reason im not recieving these responses in my e-mail I was in abusive relationship /marriage for MANY years. It took me some to for reality to hit me and the help of rescources from a womans shelter to see what abuse was. we grow up with it in our lives and not knowingly attract abusive people.
It is what is normal to us because we lived it for so long.
We have to learn to set boundaries in our relationships.
As for your mother well that is for you to decide how much you will allow her to treat you that way.
As for friends you have to show them that you are in control of your life and not allow them to upset you set boundaries by not having contact with them.
i suggest you google the power and control wheel sure opened my eyes to abuse with my ex...where this is where i think you will see that with your own ex and where he fits on that wheel. Its a cycle and it all about him wanting to control you .
You can stop the cycle your local womans shelter has many great recources free counseling and support.
take back that control..you can do it!
AG♥
and you go girl! ag great info and support thanks so much for helping. you communicate great
Thank you AG for your help. I didnt understand your last comment that your ex stalker prohibits you from being open and honest.