Anyone have any advice on how you got your boyfriend/girlfri

Anyone have any advice on how you got your boyfriend/girlfriend to understand that you can't help your actions? I told my boyfriend last night that I have BPD and I'm not sure how to get him to understand that with time, therapy, his understanding and the right meds I can get better, and that this disorder is not me. I'm new here, and new to discovering I have BPD, I'm kind of self diagnosed and start therapy Thursday, and I'm sure they will say the same thing. Because everything fits my behavior perfectly. So really any helpful words or anything would be nice, I've been struggling alone for so long, wondering why I can't just stop and not act out and control my emotions, or worry. like others

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That's kind of a poor way of putting it. Don't tell him you can't help your actions, it looks like you refuse to take responsibility for them, especially to someone on the outside. The fact of the matter is, your actions were your choice, even if they were ruled by emotion.
Tell him instead what this is. It's harder than normal for you to regulate your emotions, and sometimes that clouds your judgement, but with the hard work that you're beginning the path of right now, and his understanding, you will change that.
Best of luck, it can get difficult, but like everything, is easier with practice, and of course you have this group to look to for support.

Hey there..i feel for what toy are going thru. My brother had BPD when he was younger and it was hard when he would act out to remind myself it wasn't him. To make it easier for me i looked up information..with medical encyclopedias mind you..no Internet then..about the illness. The symptoms, what to expect..it made it easier for me to not take it personally. He also was able to get on medication. That helped..

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@Toomanyfeelings @Toomanyfeelings thank you, I found something online that was a letter to people who have loved ones who have bpd and I tried to have him read it, I know it helped me a lot. But he doesn’t want to read things like that, he thinks this is all in my head bc I’m slightly a hypochondriac as well, and he thinks this is all that is.

@emoharegeeayen you're right that is a bad way of putting it, I know I am responsible for my actions, I am new to this, I don't know the exact words to put this in, I just know that, I try terribly hard to not act the way I do about certain things when I get upset and it's so hard to control myself. But thank you for the advice I will deffiently put it the way you did, instead of making me sound like I can't control myself, I will definitely tell him it makes it harder to control my emotions. Thank you.

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@Cass776 Sure thing. Based on your post I didn’t doubt you understood your responsibility, just the fact that you are working to change it says that you know that you’re the one who needs to put that effort in. I just know from experience that it’s a really difficult thing to explain to someone who doesn’t know what it feels like, and if they think you’re trying to exempt yourself from your own behavior, even if that’s not your intention, it’s a lot harder to get them to understand.

Well, don't take it the wrong way but it might be more difficult for him to believe it as you self-diagnose yourself and I don't doubt your judgement, but I'm talking about my personal experience. I think it might be easier if you considered for now just show him that you know that your behaviour doesn't make sense, that even when your acting like this and show him that you aren't planing to stay like that. No need to put a illness name on it for now, it might be easier for him to accept it and easier for you to describe it after you start therapy.
And don't worry it get better, acknowledging when your emotion stop making sense it's always the more important step. I know how hard it is when you start obsessing about something to just let's it go, but as soon as you start feeling it try to do something else, don't just try to fight it, it just make you more think about it or fell bad about yourself for being like that. Just let's the inconfort be, accept that you are scare, that it make you angry and start to do something else. I have a friend in psychology, we loved to talk about borderline personality together, he told me about a psychologist who found a cure for borderline. It was base on the feeling of achievement, doing things can improve the way you fell about yourself (projects like art, learning language, sports), help you construct a more stable idea of yourself which help to stay focus. Sadly I forgot her name.

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