Anyone lost someone you love - A poem

I lost my best friend Alana to a long fight against cancer on the 14th may 2008 aged 26 years - leaving behind her beautiful then 8 year old boy Jordan and many friends & family. I nursed her 24/7 for 18mnths - one of the hardest things I have had to go through in my life. I think about her everyday and miss her so very much. This is a beautiful poem I'd like to share:

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile beacause she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can'y see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yeasterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday/

You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want:

SMILE, OPEN YOUR EYES, LOVE AND GO ON

as a tribute that is awsome, full of the love u both shared for life and im sure your seeing the legacy daily

all my love goes out to u

as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes

Thankyou.

I still have a lot of contact with her son who I love to bits as my own and promised to always be there for him.

On 20th June 2010 I ran THE RACE FOR LIFE 10k and raised nearly £300 and was all in her loving memory.

I trained in the evening doing 5k runs but unfortunately the 4 weeks prior to the race I was to unwell to train.

But I came in the first couple of hundred out of 800 women and I ran it in 1 Hour 14 Minutes - which was such a great achievement - I spoke to her the whole way and she helped me get to the finish line.

I also had my cards read and she told me that she new someone special had died 2 years ago and that she was in hospital for a while prior to passing away which she was for 8 weeks - and that she has a huge amount of love for me and that I should talk to her so much more and thats shes there for me always and how much she apprieciated all that I did for her and her son and that I truely gave her what no one ever had in her life - Unconditional beautiful friendship.

So yes i do carry the legacy so very close to my heart.

Thanks for your supporting words xxx

u are an amazing young woman, to feel unwell but still manage to do so well in race for life shows how much u valued your friendship.

you have shown respect, dedication and honor and im sure your friend is glad u still see her son, u are showing him such a positive view of how to live life in the memory of his mum and that is all anyone can ask

you have gone above and beyond

as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes

Thankyou so much for your very kind words and thoughful comments.
It means the world to me in everyway.
I intend to keep the running up - and continue to run to raise money for charity in her loving memory.
And I will always be there for her beautiful son Jordan who’s now 10 and a half - he is an absolute credit to her and of course now his dad whom he lives with full time.

Unconditionally 24/7 if he ever needed anything he knows I;m there for him always and forever.

My thoughts are with you - keep writing xxx

roxy

why not tell me all about your friend? what made u become friends?

as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes

Well I'm not one of those very involved mothers in the playground who gather in groups and gossip doing fetes and gardening! I get involved with the kids personal activities and support the school normally obviously.

Anyway my eldest son Kai had just gone into year 1 (2004)and had a difficult reception year as he was much an introvert after witnessing domestic violence for the first 2 and a half years of his life. He found it extremely difficult to be apart from me and was late out of nappies, dummies, stopped talking etc. So they used to have to take him from me kicking and screaming for most of that year.

So this year I was hoping for him to regain confidence and get along better at school. In the october a little boy called Jordan joined the school after having to move due to his mothers (alana) very violent relationship with her boyfriend at the time so they were rehoused. Jordan & Kai became inseperable from the word go - they were very similar in nature and personality (quite, reserved, well behaved, mixed with a few chosen friends) and had obviously although unbeknown to them been through the same trauma.

Within a few weeks Kai was invited to Jordans 6th bday party at a childrens gus gorillas ball pit.

It was that very day that I met Alana to actually speak to her and we just got on like a house on fire - we had such a laugh she was just like me rude, sarcastic, life and soul of the party! And I found out that day that one of my neighbours I new for a while was actually her brother & sister-in-law (small world). Well I asked her to come round with Jordan one afternoon after school and it started as it went on - a bottle of vodka & jack daniels, loud music and alot of fun!!! The kids were enjoying their fun and so were we!

And thats where it all began - I have to laugh to myself at this point, over the next few months we would meet as passing one another running in to the school 5 minutes late as usual! Arrive to collect them after a few drinks at lunch time with sunglasses on! Or early in morning with the sunglasses and hair scragged back trackies on after a very late night or early morning!!!!

We used to just laugh and new that everyday we would get looked at by other mums or teachers (thinking oh its them late again!!) It was funny at the time! It was always us the naughty mummies that didnt do it quite like all the rest!

We became very much inseperable she was always staying with us and doing lots of things with kids and together and Jordan used to ask to come over all the time as she was never really a cook (she didnt even have an oven for the 1st year- bless her) and he loved my big home cooked dinners and he still does - except I dont do much cooking of late.
From that very first afternoon she came round she wasnt well then but we didnt know why at the time!

There is the intro domestic
happy reading & the story will continue I promise I love talking about her and re living our friendship and smiling whilst thinking of her which doesn't happen very often as still get tearful just from songs pictures words anything really - and Jordan always talks about her to me as I do to him with regular visits to the grave - a brave face I keep for him & he always says he loves me and cuddles & kisses me when hes with us its gorgeous xxx

roxy

im so glad u had that special friend in your life.

you sound like peas in a pod :) and isnt it nice that the world is so small that u found someone who knew without having to dot the i`s and cross the t`s about what u and your son were going thru but more importantly that u clicked.

and im glad u visit the grave with jordan its good to know he has a loving person like u to help him thru this time,

so dare i ask what was the fav song of u girls?

"i will survive" by gloria gaynor comes to mind or were u "barbie girls"

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes

That was absolutely beautiful.

Beautiful words and just so true! xxx

From Substance Abuse to Mental & Physical Abuse