not much activity in the group so i thought i would pose a question and throw it out there for discussion. my daddy has since pased away last july but would love to help anyone struggling with the ravages of this disease. if so i'm here. god bless you all
Kathy, thank you so much for your post. My grandmother has dementia and I can share how much that has affected my family. She was a very independent woman her entire adult life, where she ran her own businesses and worked very hard 6 days per week for over 30 years. She lived on her own up until 3 years ago, now she lives with my aunt and uncle and they care for her full-time. She can't walk, bathe, or do anything on her own other than sit and eat. She rarely remembers us any longer, and I am just in total shock as to how quickly she went from being completely independent to not being able to walk, remember, bathe or do many other things on her own. I now fear for my father (her son) and don't know if he will be effected, because I've read that this comes from the mother's side.
How did you deal with your father's Alzheimers? I am having a hard enough time dealing with the fact that my grandmother has dementia and now am fearing my father may be afflicted as well.
oh puppy i’m truely sorry for what your going thru and no the pain of the situation for all family members. daddy went the same route as your grandmother, the deterioration was quite dramattic and quick. daddys dramatic decline was within a year. he had the signs and simptons for 10 years as he was on a variety of meds. as you know we could all write volumes about the decline, its very emotional not only for us family members but for the patient the last time i saw daddy b4 his death without going into lots of details…he actually knew my name…he did not know the names or recognize his grandchildren nor did he want to talk to his wife my mom but of all things…i just asked whats my name daddy in the hopes of some connection to the man i once knew and he said yeah kathy. who knows if he connectted me to my name to me being his daughter but that was the last gift he gave me b4 passing. i will cherish that moment along with all the other fond memories of earlier years. alzheimers is a horrible disease as it steals the person from us long b4 they actual pass away so its a very long drawn out deth process. god bless you puppy and all that have to live with the ravages of this disease
fear not puppy i come from a line of dimentia/alzheimers my grandmother, father and mother…god only know hun…so we must live the very best that we can each day “no regrets” hint hint
Oh Kathy, thank you so much for sharing that beautiful moment with your father with me. I am so happy that you had that last wonderful memory of him, how precious. You are so right in that we have to live life and truly embrace each moment. I don't take anything or anyone for granted and thank God for each moment that I have with my parents. And yes, no regrets...you are too funny!
i think that we can all live life more appreciative of each moment. and there can always be improvement. us humans you know we have a forgetter that works and we can indeed take things for granted at any given time as well and redo our priorities everyday.
So true Kathy! So true! I really try to be in check with myself quite often to make sure that I am really giving my loved ones time and attention, because I don't ever want to take our time together for granted. It's a gift and it's priceless.
and even though…don’t we find ourselves getting irratated with those we love…???
Yes, absolutely! Though, I really try to stop myself and look at the bigger picture of our time here together being so valuable and trying not to waste it on that type of energy. When I was caring for my parents and really stressing over their well-being, I felt myself getting short tempered and I'd have to take time-outs, do some deep breathing and really focus on the bigger picture. It's not easy, but I would try to do it as often as I caught myself going down a bad path. I know that my aunt has come such a long way with my grandmother as well. In the beginning, her patience was tested constantly, but now she's totally in a better place with everything because she always reminds herself that it's no longer my grandmother, but this illness that has over-taken her.
you know i never once got irritated or short tempered with daddy. in my case if was mother. although she was not officially diagnosed with alzheimers or demntia her mental health was not well. she was headed down the demntia path. it was her depression/bi polar/our past issues that fueled my impatience.....actually it was the past issues first coupled with the mental illnesses. having had this part year to reflect/mourn/gain more understanding that i stress our humaness to be kept in check as often as we can....."no regrets" i have many....hindsight...you know what they say....so this is something i use as often as i can to remind myself to self examine.....if i am having issues with something/someone....i have come to the conclusion that it is/was my inability to handle the situation, not the situation/person. us humans are very good at the blame game ....look at yourself first....recall something about the log in your own eye while the other person has the splinter....so once calm i can evaluate from a better place for the next move i need to make.....love to you and all in puppyville
Kathy, you really put it so brilliantly and I will repeat those words of wisdom so often as a wonderful reminder; "look at yourself first....recall something about the log in your own eye while the other person has the splinter....so once calm i can evaluate from a better place for the next move i need to make". It's so important to stop, take a step back and evaluate ourselves and our own actions. Oh yes! I am still such a work in progress and I am really trying to improve myself each step of the way :-)
brilliant did you say brilliant hehehe…its the british part of me hun…not much gets accomplished when we’re in a huff or tyrade now does it…
Absolutely brilliant! It's a new word that I've implemented into my regular daily verbiage, as it really makes me feel quite British. Every time I hear Victoria Beckham speak, she always uses the word "brilliant". I just love that word!
real rough day today did'nt get much done on the site....plus with the changes all the watched posted were deleted and various other changes just made it a bit difficult for me today....i did chat with d gf which was my saving grace today....worst day i've had in many many months....so i'll be back up to snuff asap hun...good to see you back love to you puppypal
Oh no Kathy, I am so so so sorry to hear that. I am so happy that Friday is almost upon us, because I know that this is going to alleviate all of your pain. Again, I really wish that I could take all of this pain away. How are you doing and feeling this evening?
Sending you tons of healthy healing energy, lots of love, and very big hugs.
Kathy, how are you doing and feeling today? Thinking about you and praying for you. Hope today is a much better day than yesterday. Sending you tons of healthy healing energy.
Kathy, by the way, I asked Vic about the Watched Posts and they deleted that section all together because it was a bit redundant with "My Posts", which is essentially the same thing. I hope this helps :-)
Ok this entire post had me in tears. I first clicked on it because one of the loves of my life (grandmother) has alzheimers so I wanted to read what everyone had to say. I scrolled thru reading each post from both you lovely ladies than I get to a part mentioning me and how I was able to help you Kathy *reaching for ANOTHER tissue*. It really touched me seeing that especially since I've been beating myself to death the last few days so thank you SO much for that!
On the subject of alzheimers...my grandmother was diagnosed in 1999. My family thinks she might have dementia instead. She takes aricept pills daily and has been since being diagnosed. Most people I hear who speak of someone they know with alzheimers they seem to get bad pretty quickly but my grandmother by the grace of god has done really well. I think that's why my family has doubts which she actually has. Her short term memory is pretty much completely gone. Long term memory in tact! If she hasn't seen someone in a long time she'll have problems remembering who you are but I still call her all the time and she still knows my voice when my uncle hands her the phone. She lives with him now. She use to live by herself after my pop pop passed but she was forgetting to eat and ended up in the hospital. They would only release her if she moved in with someone and had 24 hour care so she moved in with my uncle and she goes to an adult daycare type place during the day. I've def seen the change in her. Of all her kids and grand kids I've always been the closest to her. I spent SO much time with her growing up and use to call her every single day on the phone. If I was home sick she'd play games with me over the phone or talk me thru making something to eat (I can't cook for anything). She's always been my go to person. Thru the years she's declined more and more but overall I can't really complain I guess especially when I hear other peoples experiences. If my family does question her diagnosis I'm not really sure why no one has brought it up to her doctor. She functions ok but not great. If you tell her to take a shower she'll go in but forget to wash her hair. She's got that kind of stuff going on.
Anyway, just wanted to share on the subject.
Kathy I hope you are feeling better. I know you have a BIG day Friday and I've been thinking and praying for you!
i’m sorry about grandma but she seems to be doing quite well sinve her diadnosted in 1999. daddy was as well but since mom could’nt care for him he was put in a soldiers home. i’m the only child and i’m in texas and they were in mass. daddy passed 2 months after mom. we believe it was a spiritual knowing on his part as he was not ill other than his alzheimers. after mom died (we did’nt tell him as his doc figured it could aggitate him if he even understood and served no purpuse) the week mom passed they sais he was quite aggitated and then slowly stopped eating. he was put in hospice and passed within 24 hours. cases vary this is just our story (more to it as with all stories but this is the highlights) thanks d gf…i’m back kinda sorta, a bit slow moving but will get there. love to you honey
Hi Dlphs99, thank you so much for sharing your grandmother's story with us, I can really relate on so many levels. My grandmother was the matriarch of our family, so incredibly independent where she ran her own businesses for over 30 years. So, to see her in her current state of being is a bit difficult. I pray for her and always hope that she is living a pain-free and happy life. She's been in and out of the hospital but primarily stays with my aunt and uncle. Sending your grandmother many happy healthy thoughts.
Hello everybody - and thanks for all your sharing.
Had a difficult day Sunday; woke up to find my husband sitting on the bathroom floor. Said he started thinking about his life, and got really mad at God for making him so miserable. (I told him God didn't do that, but he is not ready to listen to that.) So the paramedics came (third time in about a month) and we spent three hours in ER. They couldn't find anything, but we saw the cardiologist Monday just to make sure.
I really think part of my hubby is afraid to die and the other part is afraid not dying. He makes himself miserable, and tries to make mine equally miserable, but I just refuse to let him. We got the medic alert thing, so now I feel comfortable about going to Yosemite next month. Just two nights and three days, but I am so looking forward to it! I have a friend who is willing to look in on him just to be sure he's OK. He's in such denial about dementia and his failing strength. He makes me crazy sometimes, but I keep telling him we married for better or worse, in sickness and in health. Guess we know where we are now!
Reminds me of the saying, "God kept calling, but the line was busy." I try to keep my heart open and bless what a miracle life reallly is.