im off my meds bc my fiance and i wanna have a baby. im ok for the most part but little things are getting to me. like the way my fiance says things. or the fact he's so close to this female friend. or that i cant remember things about him. the wedding is in 3 months and im starting to second guess myself. HELP!
Hello there! I think that it's such a beautiful thing that you and your fiance would like to have a child. And, I can imagine that you have a lot of very raw emotions now with a pending wedding, talking about having children, and now being off of your meds in order to do so. I can imagine that your body is going through a huge adjustment now, so maybe give it a bit of time and patience while it adjusts to being off of the meds. Have you also talked to your doctor about these feelings?
As well, I have very close male friends, who are like brothers to me, but I can see where a man in my life may be intimidated by that at first. Though after knowing me and knowing them, I would hope that he would love and accept them as well. Know that your fiance is with you for a reason; because he loves you. And if he wanted to be with that female friend, then he would be.
Please know that I am here for you, you are never ever alone.
thanks puppydoglvr. i know he loves me. he shows me everyday. it's just the what ifs always in the back of my mind. And i think bc i don't really have any friends anymore. the one close friend i had, we had a big fight about 2 months ago and haven't talked since.
Of course! I totally understand the what ifs, but when you're feeling that way, remind yourself that he is marrying you and not his friend. And, I am sorry to hear about your friendship, but everything in life happens for a reason. And there's a poem that has helped me so much when friends leave my life and brought a lot of clarity to certain situations;
"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant." (http://www.yuni.com/library/docs/631.html)
I hope this helps a bit. And the beauty of life is that you can always start beautiful new friendships. I most certainly have and it's a wonderful thing. Please keep sharing and let me know how you are doing.
thanks that does help. i recently got a book on bpd and im realizing im a lot better than what i was a few years ago. and i know one reason i am is bc ive started to realize what triggers my anxiety. and certain people were triggering it. and now they are not in my life. and it helps to have a great guy too. im greatful for this site bc when im having a bad day i can post and get some support. and i can read other people's posts and help them. and it makes me feel good.
Hi Crazygurl20006, I am so happy to hear that you bought a book on BPD and that it gave you some insight on your progress. As well, you have such a healthy outlook on not having those friends [who triggered you] in your life any longer and focusing on the positive people who are in your life, such as your husband. I would much rather have quality over quantity when it comes to friendships. Before, I felt that in order to feel good about myself I needed to have lots of friends, who in actuality weren't my friends. As I learned to love myself, I had fewer friends but ones who love me unconditionally and considered all others acquaintances.
Please keep sharing and let me know how things are progressing for you.