I’m new hear. I find myself doing anything I can to shop, selling things, ect. I’ll even not go grocery shopping so I can shop. I spend my entire day online shopping and saving things I wanna buy even though I’m disabled and only have my savings as my state disability has run out. I’ve already eaten up half my savings by shopping it away. It feels so good to have those items in the cart but as soon as the card comes out I feel like a failure. I’m in recovery from other things and I think maybe this is why my shopping is out of control, because that’s what I have “left” after being sober for 2.5 years. I also spent endless amounts of time on my looks, and am addicted to always trying to be prettier. I’m moving in with my bf soon and he will be financially supporting us so I have to get this under control so I don’t use up our rent or food money to fund my addiction.
You realize you have a problem, and you’re motivated to do something about it. That’s BIG! So, what to do? Since you mentioned being sober I’m going to assume that you are familiar with AA. Well, there is an equivalent program called Debtor’s Anonymous that used the steps and the tools to get to a point where you are financially sober. I think you should check it out. Go to their website and find a Zoom meeting to attend. You don’t have to share if you don’t want to - just listen in and see if you can relate to anybody there. You will find a lot of overhoppers (that’s how they got into debt). The program will help you develop a spending plan, which doesn’t keep you from shopping, but rather gives you a certain amount that you can comfortably spend while also paying off debt and saving money. It’s a very helpful tool! Their literature is really good, too (check out “A Currency of Hope”, available on the DA website or on Amazon). I can also recommend two books that re extremely helpful. The first, “To Buy or Not to Buy”, by April Bensen, looks at what is driving your compulsive shopping and explores things that you can do with that time that will truly feed your soul. The other book is “How to Get out of Debt, Stay out of Debt and Live Prosperously” by Jerrold Mundis. Very readable - not dry at all. He’s got great advice. He also recommends putting together a spending plan. I can’t say how important that is. Sorry to hear that your disability ran out. Are you eligible for Federal Social Security Disability? It’s a long process, but if you’ve paid into it, it’s your right to benefit from it. I hope these suggestions help you. And best of luck moving in with your BF. I remember doing that after living independently for several years. It was a real adjustment. Worth all the growing pains, but there were plenty of those!