At what point do you let go of looking at texts and just move on?
2 Hearts
When you're ready to let yourself heal! Looking at texts or any other forms of evidence of infidelity just rekindles the original pain, anger and whatever emotions came with it, betrayal, insecurity, fear. Every time you look at it you take yourself back to that moment. Delete the texts, let yourself heal. You can't get past it until you allow yourself to take the first step forward.
1 Heart
It's a feeling, trust your gut. Are they showing any of the signs from before when they were cheating? How is their behavior, are they doing everything and anything to help you feel secure?
3 Hearts
One you feel like you are done using it to understand what happen.
I just want to confirmation that they have not been talking together .
It takes them showing you over and over you are the only one in their hearts and they will never hurt you in that way again. I think it varies from person to person but 2-3 years seems to be the numbers thrown again.
Has your wife made any attempt to give you peace of mind? Has she sent communication to this person telling them their tryst was a huge mistake and violation of trust? Has she done anything to lessen your humiliation and feelings of being put last? Has she done anything at all to redeem herself? You don't have to put up with this if you are still in that untrusting place . It's not your responsibility to prove yourself . It's hers! Maybe you need to take off for a few days. I wish like hell I had done that. Staying sometimes lets them know we are too fearful to leave if we don't like something. Certain things are deal breakers. You need to stand by that.
Has she done anything at all to give you any clarification to no contact ? Has she showed you anything where she tells this person they do not come before you, a huge violation was made, a grave error in judgement. Has she done anything to take power away from this person? To reverse the humiliation caused for you? You don't have to stay and put up with it. Some things are deal breakers. You feel this way because you sense something and you are probably right .