Released yesterday from the hospital for an attempted suicide by pill OD. Unsure if how I feel is right? Today, I have appts for outpatient assessment and to see my therapist. I haven't felt any particular way at all until I think about my actions and I'm instantly filled with regret and shame. But when I'm not thinking about it, I'm simply not thinking about. It's all sort of surreal.
I understand everyone is different, but is this within the range of acceptable? Didn't want to wake my family or friends to discuss. Thoughts?
Over the past little while i have been taking more and more pills to get rid of hunger pains, pains in general and basically to just numb myself from thoughts. I was taking so many that when i friend couldnt get hold of me they called resident advisors, parents and more. It was embarrassing bc i had tried to OD that night (this was two and a half weeks ago) and i failed. It made me realize people were a lot more aware of my issues then i thought and scared me that everything i thought i had been hiding so well clearly has been in plain sight of others who are close enough to me.
i dont really know what you mean by in the range of acceptable, but i think that we all do struggle with figuring out how to deal with things. I'm in a horrible place right now within myself. Because im also struggling with many other issues the pills and everything have strong and quick effects. Maybe this is helpful maybe this isnt but i have a lot of respect that whether or not its by choice you are talking to someone, which is more then i can say. I am OD-ing almost on a daily basis, and I know one day i will push it too far. You have taken a step towards recovery, which i admire.
like i said maybe this helps maybe it doesnt. I've only been on this site a few days and i mostly read other posts. But find reassurance in the fact that im by far not alone
we all react different to resluts of our actions. that shame and regret might be how you react and thats ok cause everyone is different i hope you feel better about yourself... you might still be alive for a reason... you just gotta try and find a reason to try and make it... we don't often get second chances and when you do get them you just gotta try. even if it means starting over, you can try and start to heal but in the end your life has a meaning and you just gotta try even if what i say sounds ridiculous.
I attempted suicide myself by overdosing on pills this past saturday night.My kids called police it was humiliating.I went to hospital had stomache pumped.I felt so low and selfish.I didn't realize what pain I was causing my kids to go through over my own problems in life.I really know how you feel.I'm just confused by how I snapped.I also feel bad bout lying at hospital.I didn't want to go stay at behavior hospital.I lied and said it was accidental.I really needed the help.I'm really glad your okay.Sometimes when lifes cruel we make the wrong choices.We are all capable of making mistakes some we often regret.I'm just trying to work on the issues.Thanks for sharing it helps to know others understand and can relate to you.I really hope the best for you.Stay postive!
kisorheather,
You’re kids love you very much and want you to be better, that’s all they want, their mommy. I think you may have to explain the situation to them…as many kids would think am i not worth sticking around for? So when you are ready. It may also enlighten you as to how loved you really are.
Please realise no matter how bad you are feeling right now you can only go upward. You are a wonderful caring person, who has very little trust in other people…but you’re life is worth living hun and I hope you see that.
Please if you are not in therapy, reach out and start seeing one, mine is working wonders with me, and is really getting to the bottom of my mistrust issues, I know they can help you too.
You’re life is worth fighting for.
Much much love to you
Moongal x
You're very perceptive to notice and observe the way you feel, or don't feel, especially after just a day of being out of the hospital. It must be normal after a suicide attempt, I would think; it's too much of a shock to handle all at once especially when deep inside you know it's something you did yourself which could have had completely different results and hurt so many people that you just weren't thinking of at the time. It took me months to get rid of that numb, flat non-feelingness if you will, after I tried it myself, I guess it took me that long to sort myself out and somehow ultimately come to terms with what I had just tried to do.
Try to let yourself just exist for a while without doing too much pondering on things, and know that apart from the plus of not having succeeded, something else positive has to come from this experience, for you or your loved ones or both. Hugs to you.
Hey Blue,
Sometimes we must hit rock bottom to start our climb to the top. What was it that made you believe that your life wasn't worth continuing any more?
i think you need to look in your heart and find the good in you, which you know is already there. And it is a struggle but it is worth it.
I know you said you didn't want to wake your family, but can you talk to them about these issues you are having, believe me it is something so wonderful to have someone fighting in your corner, even when you don't want to.
It doesn't matter about acceptable or not, all that matters is that you start to feel better hun, so don't worry about that. Just focus on you and getting you better. Your life is worth living, believe me.