You sound great. This is the "positive self-talk" that is so essential to fighting the good fight. We all have demons and we have to show them who's boss! In one of John Irving's books, a little kid character misunderstood the word "undertow" and thought it was "the undertoad". Got to give the undertoad the finger everytime it tries to get you.
Thanks for entertaining my pop psychological advice, which, despite the cliches, has value, doesn't it?-- and offering it up has helped reinforce my own resolve. Carry on brave one!