Well I finally got my abusive stbx to close our joint account. I thought things were finally severed with this last option of me spying on him and what he was doing. (I know it was wrong, I was hanging onto the last bit of connection with him)
Well I went to pay my bills in my account (it shows both accounts) and low and behold..another negative balance in the joint account. He did not advise his creditors that take the money directly from the account, that it was closed. I have to contact my lawyer and advise her that we have a negative balance that he has to correct.
He will not talk directly to me everything has to go through the lawyers. That is fine with me, my lawyer is paid for and he is paying monthly to his (because she used his $3000 retainer fee already). I guess that is what you get when you think you are better than everyone. High priced laywers and just that - High priced. I have a great lawyer that was referred to me by one of my closest friends boyfriend. (his wife used her)
Just to everyone out there. Make sure that you are covering yourself. Divorce is where you have to protect yourself. They will try everything to get you to give in but only do it if it is in your best interest. Do not let him verbally abuse you, manipulate you or control you any longer. Stay strong!!!!!
Amen sister!! You are preaching to the choir. Mine has tried everything to manipulate me and it's not working. In my case he's coming after my 25 year old daughter.
About 2 months ago he was asked to go down the street and put air in her tires while she got ready for work - he agreed and when he got to the station he saw that someone had parked, in his words "too close to the air pump" so to teach the person a lesson he tapped her car w/my daughter's car and when the woman who owned the car came out of the convenience store and saw what he'd done he yelled at her to shut up and only after she shut up would he move the car. He came home laughing and telling me that my daughter may be getting pulled over by the police because the woman wrote down his tag number.
About 1 month ago he says he doesn't want my daughter parking in the driveway this particular weekend and since she was going out of town with friends, he moved her car into the backyard so it couldn't be seen from the street! In the process of doing so a low lying branch broke off her radio antenena. When asked about it he laughed and then opened to fix it at which point my daughter said to forget it and simply does not leave her keys out any more in order to make sure he doesn't have access to her car.
Wednesday my daughter calls me at work and she is crying. My stbx had gone outside to clear the gutters of leaves and her dog house and trough were "in his way" so instead of moving them, he tossed them both causing the dog house to shatter and break. It's a dog house she isn't using for her dog right now but still.....so I calmed her down, hung up the phone and called him. Guess what he said? He said yes he had done it and given the chance he'd do it again. I don't him not to mess with my daughter and he said he was tired of HER messes that her room stays cluttered, etc. I told him the guest room with her in it looks no worse than it did when his son lived there and hung up on him.
I called his parents - I am so fed up and told them about it and they both told me if/when he does anything else to call the police! They both said he is out of control. Wow!
So now I have a plan in place - I know it's not physical abuse but so help me these stupid mind controlling games he's playing is just as bad.
Meanwhile one of his parents must have told him about telling me to call the police because an hour or less later he calls me at work to apologize and says he will apologize to my daughter, too. I thanked him for his apology but almost 48 hours later he still hasn't apologized to my daughter and I bet he never will.
Sorry this is so long but I wrote all this in order to say yes, have a plan and have a back up plan and make sure your attorney knows what's going on at all times.
It is such a coincidence that you wrote this! My STBX is so angry about my hiring a lawyer! He is threatening me, bulling be, and just being nasty. He is trying to force me to agree to something in an email. After I served him with my papers, he closed out our saving- $32,000! I have no idea where it is! Thank god I hired a lawyer, or I wouldn't know that what he does is so illegal! I cannot believe that I dealt with this scum for 20 years!!!! ARGH!!!!!
Oh my gosh, go get him!!! Sic your attorney on himand make him accountable for that money. He KNOWS 1/2 that money is your's!!
I know I probably sound like a broken record but how in the world can these guys live with all the guilt of knowing they took advantage of the women that loved them? Doesn't the guilt keep them awake at night?
When this is over, I may date again one day but I am never going to marry. I am so tired of being lied to and cheated on and losing things that I worked so hard to get.
I hope your attorney is able to force him to hand over 1/2 that money to you!!
He went to a lawyer today, and I got a check tonight! I guess that he got a "talking" to about his behavior! ***!!!! I cannot believe that he would treat a person that he claims to love this way! Or even the mother of his children!
Oh I know. My stbx told me one day that if he had to do it all over again, he'd still marry me and the next day I find out he's had an affair! Even these days he will come around and try to flirt and be nice to me which in the beginning gave me false hope and then he'd abruptly get and leave without saying a word. So these days I avoid him at all costs. I don't understand how he can go from hot to cold so quickly. But while I'd like to understand how and why he can do that, there is a large part of me that just doesn't care anymore.