Beginning of a new journery...life without alcohol!

Over the past year or so, I've come to realize that drinking for me is not good if I cannot control my drinking when I do drink. I binge drink the day I do, black out, act like someone I am not, become aggressive, insult others, do things I am not suppose to when I go out and make a complete fool of myself. Over Christmas day I made a complete fool of myself in front of my family and kids. It hurt the next day to hear my kids tell me what I did and they giggled because they thought it was funny. I don't ever want to repeat this scenario and have given myself to the Lord and pray that I stay away from alcohol. Alcohol has been in my family since I can remember, and many of my family members drink and now my daughter who is in college drinks and at first I thought it was ok because she's in college and kids do it, but when I think about it, I am now scared that she may get addicted to it. I want to be a good role model and therefore, have decided to try not to drink. It's going to be hard, since my outtings consist of a girls night out for drinks and in my family gatherings we always have alcohol, but I am usually the one drinking "more". I am here to make a change....

Any change in our lives it is not an easy process.Try not to put yourself in the situation that will be difficult to avoid the drinking. It will take time and effort from your part and real friends will support you. Already, you made a big progress, when you decided to change your life, therefore, slowly you will achieve your goal and always be proud of yourself. God bless you.

Thank you. I know this will be a hard one, especially going out with friends, but let’s see how they react to it since they do not know of my decision. Thank you for your kind words.

Hi Lorena, Welcome to SupportGroups.com . Have you ever been to AA http://www.aa.org/ meetings? If not then I suggest checking these for face to face support. You can also find online meetings here http://www.stepchat.com/ . You don't have to do this alone. There are also non 12 step programs listed here http://alcohol.supportgroups.com/sg/alcohol/non-12-step-programs . Keep hanging in there and taking it one day at a time. Keep coming back and letting us know how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

I have been struggling to stop drinking for the last three years, so I relate to your post very much. I still have a difficult time when out with friends. I have tried to stop on my own several times and have ALWAYS slipped up. I am on day five on my own, but I think I really need to try AA this time. I am hoping it works!

Hi,
I can understand your predicament very well. I am in the same position as you are. I drink and I want to stop. I have tried so many times and have even gone to AA meetings. I just have never followed through with it. It has become a part of my life as I drink every night. My husband passed away about 6 years ago and there is such a void in my life, I have tried to fill it someway and I guess that I have chosen alcohol. I dont have friends and I am very alone. I drink at night and go to sleep. I have to change my life and it is so hard. I know that I need help and will try to get it. I cant do it alone.

Hi thank u for ur comments. Im so glad Im not alone in this. I went through a Minnesota treatment 1½ years ago, which made me stop drinking. I started slowly about 8 months ago to drink at social occasions and it went well for a long time. I didnt binge drink and was quite moderate. But now in these Christmas days it got out of control again. The worst time of the day is early evening when urge is so strong that I can hardly resist it. I have read there is a drug to take away some of the withdrawal symptoms. Anyone tried them?
I dont want to go to Minnesota treatment again. Although it helped me I find the treatment mere brainwashing.
Love Susanne

Hi Susaanne,
Yes, I am also glad to hear that I am not alone in this horrible situation. I know what you mean about the urge in the early evening being unbearable. My time is about 4pm. I am alone and it is not day and it is not night and for some reason I feel the need to fill that void. I would try a treatment center, but I have a job and a son and I just wouldnt be able to do it now. I have never heard about a drug to help stop the craving, but I have heard about a drug that makes you very ill if you drink while taking it. That drug scares me. What if I couldnt control myself? I am so ashamed that I just cant stop myself from drinking. I am isolating myself just so I can drink and I am so lonely. I dont want alcohol to control my life the way that it has for so long. I need help.
You hang in there. Lets try together to stop.
thanks for your post.
cemebe

Dear na,
thanks for the encouragement. I will speak to my doctor about the drug to stop the craving. I know that ultimately, it is up to me to choose to stop. I have to say that I am afraid of the side effects of not having the alcohol in my system. I work and I have to be able to function at work. I am worried that the withdrawal symptoms will affect me at my job. I agree that the AA meetings help and when I am finished here I will look one up and try to attend. I am so amazed at you brave souls who have made it for so long without alcohol. I hope that I can be as strong as you are.
Thanks for the post.
cemebe

Hi Cemebe
thank u very much for ur post, it supports me lot to know that somewhere out there someone is struggling the same way as I do. i suppose u live in the US, so we cannot be online the same time we get the craving. I live in Denmark its minus 1 hour from Greenwich time. So when its about 4 pm here what time will it be at ur home and vice versa? If possible I can be online when u need support, I just need to know what location-time ur on, unless if its at night at my place. I need my sleep otherwise I cant function.
Yesterday was newyears evening and I fell asleep at 10 pm because I drank too much - and I feel awfull about it. From today I have decided to STOP! My husband is concerned and afraid that our daughter at 14 will find out. I have had one Minnesota treatment and I will NEVER do that again, it was awfull. But AA meetings make sense as long as I dont have to make the 12 steps program. I dont want to mix religious belief with my alcoholproblem.
But Cemebe it would help a great deal if we could support each other .
And na: thanks for ur support.
Love Susanne

Hi Susanne,
I drank last night too and I feel asleep about 9. I woke up with such a bad hang-over. my head was aching and I felt so depressed all day long. I feel so badly ever time I drink which is every night. I didnt drink tonight because I was so sick from drinking last night. I live in Chicago and we are on central timezone. I would love to talk to you, you and I have alot in common. My drinking also affected my 3 children even though they are older now, in their 20’s.
Thanks for contacting me. At least I know that I am not the only one in this terrible situation.
Love,
cemebe

Hi Cemebe
ur time is 7 hours behind mine, so right now its 4 am in Chicago and 11 am here in DK. Today it will be 11 pm here and 4 pm in Chicago, the time when ur craving is the worst. I can be online at ur 4 pm time if u want. Is it possible to chat on this site?
I know how u feel - bad conscience and ur body is aching from all the booze. Yesterday , the 01.01 was the 1. day for a long time that I didnt drink. I asked my husband to remove all alcohol from the house, all the stores were closed, so I didnt have any opportunity to drink. It was really hard, I was sweating, I had nausia and a huge craving. But I got thru it and today will easier I think. Not that the battle is over, I know that, but every day it gets a little easier. I have been in this mode before, so I know I can make it. And so can u Cemebe.
About the withdrawall symptoms Im sure there is some drug against them. Ask ur GP for it. The other drug is antabuse but u cant take it unless ur sober. U get very sick if u drink on it and it has some unpleasant sideeffects.
Are u male og female and how old are u?
Im female of course and 51. Former highschool teacher of psychology now unemployd :((
Love Susanne

Hi Susanne,
I dont know if you can chat on this site. I just came on it a few days ago. I am a woman, 57 years old with 3 children. My husband passed away 6 years ago and that is when I really began drinking daily. It is so hard to be alone and try to manage the bills, and work and the children and then try to go out and be social. I couldnt do it so I just stay home when I got through with work and I would drink and watch tv until I went to sleep. Then I got up for work again and came home and drank etc. Then whole cycle started over day after day. I am so tired of drinking and being alone all of the time I really want to stop. Last night was the first time that I didnt drink in a long time. It was because I was too sick from the night before. Maybe I can stop for good this time. I need help though. Maybe an AA meeting or something. Lets try to do it together. If I am home today at 4pm, I will email you and lets try to help each other. I hope that I can do it. I have to work tomorrow. By the way, I am a teacher too, a special education teacher. It is hard work for someone as old as I am. By the way, you are lucky to have your husband and children with you. You dont know how my I miss having my family with me. Only my youngest son lives with me and he is usually out. I miss my husband very much. He always supported me emotionally and he was a very good and kind man. He always knew just what to do. I really never had to worry about anything when he was around. I was married for 28 years to him. Well, it was good to hear from you and lets try not to drink today Susanne. We will feel so much better. I will email at 4pm if I am home, and I usually am.
Love,
cemebe

Hi Cemebe
see u at 4 pm. Love S

Well susanne,
Today is a new day and I am filled with hope of not drinking. My son has started to drink, so I have to be there for him and set a good example for him. We have been having problems gettting along lately. His father passed away about 6 years ago, and it is very difficult for him. He was very close to him. I am still trying to stop drinking and have not been successful yet, but I am determined to end this vicious cycle. I hate it and now it is hurting and taking over my son. Alcohol will not take my son. I wont let it. I have to change my attitude and outlook on life. I believe that this will have a positive effect on my son as well as myself. Have a good and sober day.
Love,
cemebe

Susanne,
My son is not doing so well. He missed the deadline to sign up for school and now they have cut his hours at work in half. I am very concerned about him. I havent seen him drinking as much, but I fear that he is very depressed. I am hoping that he can make it through this rough patch. I am trying to be supportive and not to engage in arguments with him about his situation. I wish that his father was here to help. I feel so alone and helpless. But, I will be strong, I have to be for my son.
Love,
cemebe

Your story is like mine. I relate to all of it. Today i am taking my life back one day at a time and i hope you do to. I wish you the best!

Go to AA it does help I'm clean 78 days .. One day at a time .. I've made new friends and def a new life .... Don't give up it's amazing but hard ... So worth it ... Give your self a break ... It is possible ...

Going out with friends was really hard when I first quit drinking.
Now it's less of a big deal.
I went out to a concert with a bunch of friends last night and most of them were drinking.

Going to AA helped a lot in the beginning. Just someplace to go and get some social contact without being around alcohol.
It's really rough in the beginning.

Hi, I found this on line support group because I am tired, tired of waking up feeling like crap and realizing I did something stupid whilst drinking the night before. I have tried to stop drinking, even went to a program once and that helped but eventually when "life" hit me I would bargain with myself and say oh just one and then one turned into two, then three, you see where I am going with this. I am alone with two grown sons, one is married, doing well. My youngest in his 30s is mentally ill, although functional. I married their Dad when I was 20 and was w/him almost 20 yrs., ended up in the hospital due to a clinical deep depression, you see back then I wanted me family back but he did not want to come back....that hurt deeply, that has been almost 18 yrs ago and time has healed the hurt and we have out son who we support together, though in separate households...got married a second time and that was maybe six years...I am explaining because all this leads to my drinking, alone, at night, until I fall asleep. Last night, I did something stupid due to my drinking and work up this morning thinking what did I do...If I am honest with myself drinking has cause me to be lonely, the almighty liquid diet has also made me gain weight, I used to have a nice figure, but age and the drinking have made me overweight. Surprisingly I have a good office job I hold down and am very good at and a good employee, but my drinking had made me late to work at times so it has affected me there too, I never ever drink during day, it's the lonely evenings that control me and feeling sad and depressed that I am alone...So I found this site...I am crying, I am hurting and in pain. I do have a problem and I do not want it anymore, it hurts too much and I have a grandbaby now almost 3 and my son who I have to care for ...I need to change...thanks for reading and your support...I know I need to keep busy somehow so I don't drink at night especially....