Beyond lonely and depressed. Totally hopeless and alone. Literally not one person in my life to talk to. Loss and grief over the ending of a 10+ year relationship where I was alienated from everyone because he trashed me when I couldn't defend myself. Wondering why I'm alive. Dealing with a domestic violence charge that he was guilty of but him being a cop, I was the bad guy. He's 6'5"and I'm 5'8" and disabled.I can't work and have been in bed for 17 months due to thyroid disease that was exasperated by a doctor over medicating it. Now I have fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis as a result of the prolonged thyroid issue. My 86 year old mother is dying and I am about ready to lose my house. And my "victim" is a multi-millionaire.
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@NeedLove Wow, you are going through so much, having been in an abusive relationship for 10 years. He is a cop? Unbelievable, I thought cops motto is to "Protect, and Serve." Right now, you have to looked after yourself, you have many health issues. Please take it one day at a time. You have fibromyalgia, and rheumatoid arthritis which is so painful. I empathized with you I suffered from nerve damaged, I am a survivor of a traumatic brain injury. You are about to losed your house, and your 86 mother is dying, I am so sorry. Your former abuser is a multi millionaire, is there anyway you can sued him? Maybe you can speak to a lawyer. My thoughts, and concerns are with you. SG friends are here, to support, and be supported. Have Faith. Hugs.......
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@Irma Thanks for your support. Can’t sue the cop or even the doctor that over medicated my thyroid. Nerve damage is awful! I’ve had 7 back surgeries as well and am very familiar with that type of pain. I also have cervical dystonia which is very painful and people stare. So I stay isolated in my home and cry nonstop from pain and depression. The relationship - he chooses to go play and sit at the bar 5 nights a week - and he’s 67. I can’t drink as I’m on diversion. I have been in the legal field all my life and my dad was a cop, but I must say, I HATE cops. They’re liars and live above the law. I’m so full of anger and hate, while crying and not wanting to live. What is there to live for? All my dreams and passions are gone.
Sounds like you are living in hell and while I don't have as many problems as you, i can promise you I know what hell is like. The cop is a **** and nothing will change that, all you can do is what YOU CAN DO. Beyond that let it go, just let it go and work on what you are capable of, work on yourself and to hell with the rest of the world.
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yes, I like that advice, and I agree with dark_and_twisty71: "all you can do is what YOU CAN DO!".....great words of wisdom and truth. (that actually helped me today, too). Thanks.
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Problem is, I don't feel I can do anything. I feel worthless going from a high powered job to losing my health, money, friends, being in the legal system and unable to work. I've been in bed for 17 months now and at my age, it's not coming back. Where the heckler is Dr. Kevorkian? I'd gladly give someone my house to put me out.
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