Anyone have an ed or ocd that you have had to deal with while breastfeeding? I need someone to relate to please. Thanks!
Hi Txmama, I can't directly relate to you, other than I am a recovered bulimic and am here to offer help in any way that I can. I am hoping that one of our wonderful Supporters will give you better insight and guidance.
i have breastfed babies before, and i do have anxiety, but not ocd. i do however have a tremendous amount of respect for what you may be going through since i believe having a newborn can sometimes trigger ocd reactions where there may not have been one before. if this is any help at all, (boy i hope it is), when i was in my psychology class we watched a video about a woman who had just had a baby and who was overcome with ocd. she finally reached out for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy where a therapist would come to her home and work directly on whatever the problem was- which in her case was obsessive hand washing, God Bless her. she got MUCH better after 9 sessions. she got her life back. it was inspiring. i know that my own dad had ocd, so my heart really goes out to you. bless you. keep us posted, please?
warm wishes
sun
Hi Txmama, I have ocd, but have not had a baby... although in the future would really want to have one.. I have for some years had a fear around breastfeeding a baby when I have one. I gather this is a form of ocd... I can only imagine what you are going through and please don't feel you are alone... our brains are crazy things sometimes... I don't know if I have helped but... know there are people here to support you...
Hi! Thanks for all your replies and support. Its greatly appreciated. I am recovering from anorexia (from about 4 years). I started going to Eating Disorders Anonymous when I found out I was pregnant( but the group fell apart). I have suffered from OCD for years, most of my life. I'm not currently on medication although I didn't believe mine helped much. I have talked to the place I want to do outpatient at after my baby is weaned. They do both OCD and EDs. Exposure and response prevention with OCD. I'm a HUGE perfectionist and I worry constantly about breastfeeding right and weaning right. I have put so much presure on myself to do everything perfectly (not just with breastfeeding though). I Google compuslively and reread the same articles over and over. I constantly ask my mother-in-law for reassurance. She's the only person I know that has breastfed exclusivley until weaning to solid foods. I worry so much about what I eat and keep track of caffeine milligrams and sometimes calories even though I have been told by a lactation nurse that the restrictions on diet is minimal. The obsession I have with fear of failure/not good enough/ perfectionism has resulted in many sub-obsessions and compulsions but the rituals and compulsions and worrying with breastfeeding is making me feel less like a mother who knows what to do and what is right for her baby and more like a psycho. I know deep down I have motherly instincts but the OCD makes me second guess everything! I just want to feel competant. I want to feel like an adult and I want to be the best mother I can. And I actually am underweight (not by much) and my baby is average weight and completely healthy because he gets all my nutrition plus the solids he has and his vitamins. I take vitamins, and try to eat regularly but sometimes I still restrict and I feel so guilty. BEacuse my nutrition is being taken and I started with little to begin with, I'm playing catch up. Its hard to catch up when youre breastfeeding so I have suffered from fatigue, water retention and potassium deffeciency off and on through the last 20 months (pregnancy and breastfeeding). I have recently incorporated a protien drink that I add onto everything I eat (not a meal replacement) but the last few days I haven't taken it. I'm going to start again though. I feel like the worst mother ever. My baby is 10 months old and there's not a think wrong with hiim and I still have healthy milk but I myself could be healthier so I feel lik I'm letting him down anyways. I feel like a complete failure.
oh my God, you sound like you are doing so many good things for your baby, you are Good Mom!
I breastfed mine until they went to solids. you are doing great! you are dealing with a complex issue that most people don't have to fight with. it perhaps just feels like you are a failure because this is new.
i know you are doing great, just from all of the things you listed off, all of the foods, the vitamins, contact with health care professionals, and you choose to utilize close family for essential support regarding breastfeeding.
yeah, you have ocd, but you are fighting the good fight and you doing great job.
Great!!! Job!!!! iT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE A VERY WONDERFUL MOTHER. Relax, pat your self on the back and keep up the great work.