Bumps in the road

I would like to consider myself to be in the recovery process. I think that I am on the right track, I am in such better shape than I was a few months ago. But, I can't help feeling disappointed, and like I have failed when I have a slip! I just wish that I did not have to make so many mistakes! My self esteem and confidence definitely take a toll when I do have a slip. And I can start out the day completely positive, and by the end of the day, not so positive.
The recovery process is so hard. I guess for every step I take forward, there is also a step back. EH I just have to make sure that for every step that I feel takes me back, there are also two steps forward.
Today I feel like I am a hot mess. I am trying so hard to do the right thing! I was out and about looking for jobs, and it was snack time so I decided to do a food challenge and get a frappuccino. Well I drank the whole thing and I felt really good, and then I got home and the darn drink made me sick. Well, my body was out of whack, and I ended up having symptoms at dinner. I am just planning to eat dinner again and and continue with my night, but I am still discouraged. I will not let this bring me down, I am going to keep moving forward and be positive! I know I sound repetitive (sorry) but if I don't tell myself over and over again to be positive it won't happen!
Alright. Breathing. Accepting. Relaxing. Eating. Journaling. Calling supports. Going to bed.

Hope everyone is having a good evening, and thanks for allowing me to process!
CC

CC i understand exactly what you mean. i had a slip earlier today and i felt like the worst person in the world. like i was a horrible person. my sweetheart told me something and i will share it with you.

if you went even two hours more than you did last time before you engaged in negative behavior, you are doing better than you were. don't negate the positive you accomplish because of a few moments of weakness. it does not encourage the negative behavior, but it focuses on the positive.

something you can do is keep a pocket calendar. something only you see. when you have a slip, write it down in the calendar. the time and action on that date. then when the next happens write it. you see then how long it has been since your last slip. you see progress in that. it is a way to show yourself the progress you are making. if even only you see it.

scarlette

Thank you so much Scarlette! It is very true, nobody is perfect and slips happen. I really appreciate your encouragement :)
<3 CC

:) Hmmm... That pesky all or nothing thinking... My therapist pointed out recently that I even tend to apply it to my recovery. :P It seems I'm not alone. ;0) Hang in there, A!! A slip does NOT make you a terrible person. It makes you HUMAN. :) The important thing is to focus on the next best thing you can do. :)

Love!!

Jen

CC...a slip does not a relapse make...♥
But, please get right back on track and follow your recovery plan! Use your resources and please keep sharing....we are all cheering you on....HUGS...Jan ♥

Thanks Jen and Jan :)
yes I feel I have done reasonably well. Few slips unfortunately, but I have been honest with my treatment team, and I plan to remaining honest and reaching out to my supports.
I miss you JAN :( Thanks for your support
<3 CC

I miss you too...how about a visit to NW Ohio soon?? LOL
Take care....♥

I would LOVE to :) But no exactly at the RCC..... as much as I love the RCC I want to see the people, in a different setting!
All of us healthy and happy!

<3
CC

Oh yeah....I totally understand. I was not referring to RCC directily, but I'm sure everyone would love to see you for a VISIT!!
Thinking of you....HUGS...Jan ♥