Can a long distance relationship work?

I've been contemplating a potential long-distance relationship and heard to good, the bad, the ugly of long distance dating. I have seen a success story, where a couple, who lived on opposite coasts, met and fell in love. They are happily married and my model couple. Though, I have also seen long distance relationships fall apart.

Most of my friends are very anti long distance dating; expressing that it won't and can't work.

I would love any thoughts and experiences on this? Thank you so much!

My 18yr. old is in a long distant relationship for the past 2yrs. & I feel they can work depending on the two people willingness to nurture the relationship.

Take care Pup.

April

Thanks so much for sharing that April! I really appreciate it and it helps so much. I really feel in my heart that love can conquer all, but I love to hear other peoples' takes on it.

Hey Puppy,
I can't speak from experience, but I think there has to complete trust in the relationship and it can work. And if either party were in the least bit suspicious in their nature then it wouldn't have much chance.

Hope this helps
Love to you
MG x

That's a really great point Moongal, thank you for bringing that to light. This guy has been one of my closest friends for years and we have built such a strong foundation of trust, respect and love. We've done anything and everything in the past to protect one another from hurt, we've been one another's shoulder to cry on, been there through good and bad. I trust him implicitly. Now, whether we will actually take the leap into romance is still a question.

But, I do totally agree. Generally, I would only consider it if I built a friendship with someone first and built something so solid where there was trust and respect. If there's no trust, then it'll never ever work.

hi puppydogluvr,

my own relationship is exactly like what yours is with your friend, we were friends for 3 years, finally met, and unexpectedly fell in love. We have been together nearly a year, and it is by no means easy (i have just started a discussion asking for tips on coping with the way i feel after spending 3 months over there) But yes, it can work, and if the trust is there, then go for it. The hard part is the separation, and i'm hating it right now, but plan to move there in September, I'm Ireland, he's Alaska, so it's a fair old distance. For me, being away from him, is the hardest part. I'm glad we have Skype and Yahoo, so we can keep in touch daily. He's coming here in February, i can't wait. Anyway, just thought i'd throw my bit in to the pot.

Take care :)

Hi Wendy, Happy New Year! Thank you so much for being here and for sharing your story with me, I truly appreciate it. I don't quite know if there's any opportunity with this friend any longer, as we've both somewhat moved on and haven't been in close of touch as of late. But you never ever know what the future will hold.

I am so happy for you and your wonderful relationship, you are amazing for making it happen and for keeping it going in such a healthy and happy way. You two are the love stories that I love. I am such an optimist and romantic at heart when it comes to love, and I believe that it can conquer all. You are proving that. And, I'm so excited that he'll be coming to visit you in February, how long will he be staying? Are there any plans to move to one country together or the other?

hello again puppydogluvr,

Thank you for responding.

Well, my own story of meeting my friend did also involve us kind of losing touch for a few months, he was dating someone, and we didn't chat for a while, so there you go, we never quite know what's round the corner.

As for plans of moving, well you did reply to another post of mine, about long distance relationships, where I am suffering separation anxiety, I'm the one planning to go to Alaska in September (provided all goes according to plan)We are unsure yet how long he can visit for in Feb, as he works full time, and does not get his schedule till the end of the month, but has 1 weeks holiday saved. So it could be like 10 days maybe 11, though travelling takes an entire day, which reduces his time here by 2 days. he has actually visited me before for just 3 days lol, when he had no holidays to take, and could only swap shifts to get a 5 day block of days (2 days travelling) oh, it's not easy, but it's Love!!!!

Mnay thanks again for replying to my posts, and i wish you all the best, and await updates on the friend situation, because "what's meant for us, does not pass us by" as they say.

Take care :)

Hi Wendy! Thank you so much for your wonderful words, I truly appreciate it. And, I most especially love your quote: "what's meant for us, does not pass us by". I really truly believe that. My spiritual guide always told me that men who were not meant to be in my life would just slip off and away. They could try try and try as they may to be a part of my life, but wouldn't stick. That's been so very true. I pray and pray that only a good man with good honest intentions come into my life and let all others go away.

I am so in awe of your relationship, how absolutely amazing! You make me continue to believe in love. I love that your boyfriend tries in any which way to get to you and you do the same. I love it! I know that you two will make it work for the long-term, as you've already proven to do so.

How are you feeling about everything today? Better I hope.

hiya puppydogluvr,

Thanks for the great response, and I'm certain you will only get the very best partner for you. I am certain that my boyfriend and I would never have met in normal day-to-day life, living so far apart as we do, and spiritual intervention was required to get us together. Not only does he make sure we get time together despite the distance, and his full time job, he treats me wonderfully too. Had I created an "ideal man" model, with boxes to tick, i'd be in awe, because he fills all the criteria. So i'm gonna pray for a similar relationship for you.

I do feel so much better today, and have you to thank in part for that. I pray a lot, so that also helps, and i was working today, so I was not at home alone, moping. So right now, i feel good.

I;m hoping you feel good too, and full of hope for the future. Best wishes to you :)

XoXoX

Oh my goodness Wendy, you brought happy tears to my eyes. Happy tears because of your happiness and fulfillment with such an incredible relationship, happy tears because you're wishing the same for me. You have no idea how much I appreciate your most beautiful words. Wow, your boyfriend is incredibly lucky to be with a woman like you.

I love your thoughts on spiritual intervention, as I greatly believe in that. There have been several spiritual interventions in my life for sure. Is there anything in particular that you do spiritually? I pray and meditate, as well as light red candles. I'd love and appreciate any and all tips that you have for love. Thank you so much.

hi, puppydogluvr,

thank you for such a sweet response, those are very kind, complimentary words indeed.

I think the most important thing that i do spiritually, is praying, and in particular, when i pray, morning and night without fail i "hand my life and my will over to God" and then i need never worry about anything that happens, whether it's a good or a bad thing. Things that have seemed bad when they happened, when viewed with hindsight, have taught me a great deal. I have great faith that He wants only the very best for me, and will provide it, as long as i do my part, in handing it over, and not worrying about what is in store. He knows best.

When i first started doing this, i was obviously, very doubtful and did not believe it would work, however, over the course of the 3 and a half years that I've done this, many miracles have occurred in my life. Additionally, i read self-help books, and one that made a huge difference in my life is "The Power Of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. I would say i had very negative thinking, without even being aware of it, and this book helped enormously. The book gives some very good advice, and some affirmations, that i say daily too. I am always reading some manner of self help book, i have a "daily readings book, which has dates for each page, that's called "Until Today" by Iyanla VanZant, it has good spiritual stuff for each day. She does have some other very good books too.

Another thing that's quite important, i feel, is to be good to ourselves, whether it's getting our hair done, or by making ourselves something really nice for dinner, buying a special book, etc. By doing things like this, we are recognising/acknowledging that we are special, wonderful and unique people, who deserve the very best, and treating ourselves as we would treat our best friend. I also come here for help, and you are one of the people that reply, and give me strength and hope, so i often do that with things that seem more prickly than usual. And along with positive affirmations, this seems to work well for me.
These are just daily things i do, that seem to work for me, most of the time. Obviously, we all have bad days, i had a bad few recently, but i did not abandon any of my usual practices, and now i feel the tough spot has passed. big thanks and hugs to you for helping :))

I see the universe as a big Jigsaw, and the people are all the pieces; we are all different shapes, sizes and colours, but without my particular "piece" in the Jigsaw, the picture will be incomplete. Your "piece" in the Jigsaw is equally important :)

Thinking fondly of you puppydogluvr, and wishing you the very best. Take care :))

XoXoX

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful spiritual practices and daily positive insights about what has worked for you. When I was reading about your prayer to God, it reminded me of what my spiritual guide taught me. She told me to turn my life over to God, knowing that He is guiding me in the right direction. It's like we speak the same spiritual language Wendy, that's so special and wonderful. When I pray, I pray that only the right person with good honorable intentions stay in my life. I have met several men as of late, it's like this wave that came out of nowhere. I am really keeping my eyes wide open and looking at them as friends first. And, I pray daily, sometimes several times per day, that only the good honorable man with honest intentions towards me, stays in my life. That's why intimacy is off of the table until I really really really get to know them.

My spirituality and prayers are guiding me through life, as are yours. I know that we are on a strong positive path, and will have everything that we ever dreamed of and so much more. I know that you and your boyfriend will be happily living together so very soon; I'm sending it out to the Universe for you. And, I am praying for you.

Thank you so much for being here, for being such a beautiful soul, and for all of your incredible insight. You are a true blessing.

Although I have never experienced a long distance relationship, I would guess that it could work when both parties want each others' companionship bad enough. At least you get to know the other person mentally before getting to know them physically (seeing them in person).

Just take is slowly and always be cautious for your safety, because people only tell you what they want you to know.

I would suggest having communication with their family members too as an added bonus, or at least meeting them so you can get the big picture of what you may be getting involved in.

Hope this helps

I know this post is rather late since I just joined this past week... I have personally been in a long distance relationship for three years now. Not only is it long distance, but I can't just up and move because I live in Canada. When I attempted to visit for a five month period of time (still employed in Canada), US Customs claimed to say I was moving there, when in fact, I was visiting to get a chance at a "real relationship" living with my man. So, they flagged me. I always get stopped at the border, have to prove I am working in Canada, until my visa is completed. An officer even harassed me to say, "You better not get married" once they let me cross after being flagged. At that point, we had already spoke of marriage, we had been together a year and a half and I felt screwed either way!

So, here we stem three and a half years later. We got married, in CANADA, although legally could've been married in the US, I didn't want to give them any reason to try to catch me in a lie. Our relationship was based strictly on communication, on top of the struggle of long distance, my hubby is a sex addict... So you can imagine how lack of physical relationship can trigger this challenges. We have been open and decided to not give up until we have a chance at a true relationship and marriage. Some people might think, wow, you haven't lived together, you have no idea about the persons habits or faults, but it's quite the opposite. Because of our distance, we are forced to be open and talk when there is a problem. Just the same that you might need space after a fight, we take time to process what is happening instead of jumping down each others throats.our lack of trying to fix things with sex has been a blessing in disguise, as we can communicate first, make up second. We are still in the honeymoon stage too, and because of our distance, we value each other that much more.

I have had other friends in long distance situations and it truly depends on the people involved. If you get jealous quickly and don't forgive lightly, obviously there will be issues from the start. We lucked out with being up front and honest, even with our challenges!