A couple of months ago a close friend of mine told me that her fiance had lied to her about something for the entirety of their relationship and she came to find out accidentally. For me, trust is everything in a relationship and most especially one that's heading to marriage. At that time she asked me what I thought about what she shared, and I kept my thoughts to myself. Though, 10 days later I openly told her that I am afraid for her and expressed how I really felt. That same day she told me that she would have done the same if she was in my shoes and she understands how I felt about her fiance. Then, she totally shut me out by not responding to a phone call or text message. So, I gave her space and completely backed off. At first I was so hurt because I felt that I was being a good friend, but then I started to understand her perspective. Now, I have really been missing our friendship and want to salvage it. I sent her a quick text and she did respond. I don't know what to do next in order to get back to where we once were. She was one of my best friends and now I feel that we are mere acquaintances. I thought that I was being a good friend to her, but now I deeply regret ever saying anything and feel that this has taught me a good lesson to keep my opinion to myself when it comes to friends' relationships.
Has anyone had a similar experience and were you able to salvage your friendship? I'd love any help and/or guidance.
Hey puppy, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles with your friend. I know how hard that can be. Some of my friendships were salvaged with time... once after a couple years she just messaged me saying she missed me. I know that texting can feel impersonal and be easy to disregard. I wonder if perhaps a heartfelt visit would be better? I know how it feels to have your friends not like the person you choose and I know if my friend accepted him, it would be ok. I hope that you guys can work this out.
Me- As I am inside, thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and to respond. I truly appreciate it so very much. I don't know why everything hit me really hard yesterday about this friendship. I just started to miss her so much. For a while there was resentment and I felt so shunned, but then when I put myself in her shoes, I totally and completely got it. A big light bulb went off and I finally realized that I would have reacted the same way that she did. I am slowly but surely working to regain our friendship, and I am hoping that we will be back to where we once were. And, maybe this will even make our friendship stronger. Thank you again! Hope you're happy and smiling today.
You are so very welcome :) I don't know why either but I think that it is natural for you to experience times like that. In my experience you might have a feeling like that again. Well if she is your friend she must be pretty kind and understanding huh? I know that things will work out for the best. Let me know how things go!
Me, thanks so much again! My spiritual guide told me today that a down moment in a friendship is simply a dent and a moment in time, and shouldn't be detrimental to the whole of the friendship. I totally agree with that. My friend is a very good person and we've gotten over our down moments before. There have been very few of them, but if we've powered through them, then we can get through this one. Thank you again! You're the best!
Puppy,
I came across this post of yours and I know it was from awhile ago and I just wondered, were you able to save the friendship? I am going through a similar situation and I wanted to know how things worked out for you.
Thanks & I wish you all the best -
Chases