Can someone give me a direction?

I feel selfish by asking for help in a sexual abuse category when I wasn't the one who had anything physically done to them, but I'm hoping I can get pointed in a direction. To make a long, complicated story short, this is my first year in college, and my parents and boyfriend helped me moved in on a Sunday this past August, and the following Wednesday I got the worst phone call from my best friend. The previous night, my boyfriend had gotten into a fender bender and was really upset about it (he's a year younger and didn't have his license and had previously been in quite a few bad car accidents and has developed emotional stress from the accidents) and decided to excessively drink (something he's never done because his father is an alcoholic). That night he went to her house to vent to her about it (venting is not uncommon between them but neither of them ever had any special feelings besides freindship for the other) and ended up sleeping over (he's slept there before...nothing ever happened). The part of the phone call that made me want to jump out my dorm window, was when she said she woke up in the night only to find him touching her breasts and masterbating. Her and I have been each other's best support, but I wish I had someone to talk to who knows what it's like to have a boyfriend do something like this. More than anything I just want to stop crying and feeling so weak and worthless everytime I think about that phone call.

...And no, I didn't stay with him. She always was more important to me than him, after her phone call, I called him immediately after and told him that's it, "we're over". I don't want to get back together with him. I just want to stop feeling pathetic.

scdenier, there is always more to the story...did you get his side of the story?

charlie.....can you advise, i'm at a loss here

I am so sorry to hear about the pain you and your friend are in. Your ex betrayed and hurt both of you. There's no reason to feel selfish about recognizing your pain as well your friend's. In your own time, you'll mourn the loss of your relationship and your broken trust. And as you know, this is not your fault and it's not your friend's fault. It's your ex's fault. You are not pathetic. You are emotionally injured but over time you'll heal. What he did was pathetic.

You might want to have a girl's night out with your friend. Keep it low to no booze, though. Emotions are running high right now and sometimes things are said and remembered in the haze of alcohol. You both need a bit of fun. If one or both of you feel like being around the other is too much of reminder, you might need to make plans with other people for your fun for a little while. If that's the case, keep in touch with her. In the long run, you're both more likely to heal if you're talking than not.