I left my husband in July of 2010 and my divorce was final in October of 2010. We were married for a year and a half. He chose going out with his friends over me and he is an alcoholic (although he would never admit it). I finally had, had enough of his lies, emotional cheating and him not giving me the time of day. I've been going to counseling weekly since I left, I'm taking two antidepressants and I can't seem to get over the pain. I recently found out that he physically cheated on me before I left, and found out he was sleeping around before our divorce was even final. Although it wasn't a huge surprise its still a major blow and I'm in a deep depression. How do I get thru this?
Do you have faith/ believe in God? He has gotten me through so much. He is the best and is always faithful. If not, I say get active, go to a gym, volunteer in your community, do anything to just be active and not stewing. Hope it helps! good luck!
Hi Crissy,
I am currently in the process of divorcing my husband who has also been emotionally abusive. We are currently still living together and he makes a point to say hurtful things to me and tell my 2 year old daughter how he does not like me, etc. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the lawyers because they have finished my claim paper work and have to go sign it. You would think that I would be relieved to get the process started so I no longer have to live in my current situation but I am sad. Like things are really going to end and it saddens me greatly. I love my daughter to dealth and I am so greatful to have her through all this because she has really given me the strength to get through this but i have been feeling very lonely lately. Hard to talk to my friends or family because they are not in my situation and I feel like a bother. I feel like I need to make friends with other women (or men) in my situation so we can vent adn complain together, etc. and not feel guilty about it. I have recently reached out to one of the mom's at my daughter's daycare that I know is separated initiating us to get together for a play date with the kids, etc. I am hoping she calls and I am able to make a friend who is in a similar situation. I think this would be good.
Do you have any one close to you that can relate to your situation? Recently divorced or going through one as well? So sorry you are going through this but know that you are not alone and your feelings are very normal. I hope things are better for you real soon!
Thank you for the advice. I have close friends but I'm at the point where I feel like they are getting annoyed with me. I try not to talk about it with them because I know that I am in a better situation than I was in, and I hate to burdon them. I think if I was in their shoes I would probably be tired of listening to the same whine for 8 months. That is why I joined this group. It is nice to be able to lean on each other here for support and I can log on and talk to people in my situation to help me get thru the rough spots. I've just began my journey with God. I've always believed in him, but didn't have a "real" relationship with him. I work a full time job, plus have a part time job, I'm taking online classes, doing weekly counseling, bible study every other week, volunteering at my local animal shelter, working out at my gym, and spending as much time as I possibly can with family (watching nieces & nephews ball games etc..). So I really am trying to get thru this. I've even considered hypnosis. I just know that I can't continue living with this pain in my heart. I'm so scared of being alone (and by being alone, I mean not having people around me all the time to keep my mind occupied.) Otherwise it is so rough and I literally feel sick when I think about my ex husband cheating on me. I have to somehow move on from this. I have no idea how to forgive him. Even if I was to be in another relationship in the future, I honestly do not see myself ever forgiving him and I think it will always haunt me. I realized at bible study last night that I was worshipping the wrong man. I lived for my husband and loved him so very much. He didn't appreciate or deserve my love. :(
Hi Crissy, I totally understand what you mean about thinking your friends are sick of hearing about it. I am feeling the same way. I also don't think they all were fully trusting of him from the beginning an have made their hints in the past so now I kind of feel like they just want to say "told you so" or "we knew it" but are just too nice to say something which makes me even more hesitant to talk to them. Today I signed my claim and it goes off to court on Monday. It just saddens me that this is actually going to happen now. Our divorce is not something I had wanted but not something I can stay in, like you I lived for my husband.
The idea of being with someone else right now besides my husband just does not seem realistic but I find my self day dreaming about this fantasy guy who is just going to come in and sweep me and my daughter away from everything. But then the other part of me does not know if I could ever depend on someone again like this since I was / am so hurt. I have not told anyone at work, or daycare, etc. Only people who know are my close friends and family.
It really sounds like you are on a great path and I only wish I had as much initiative as you. Sorry I don't have any magical words to make some of your hurt go away. This is why I joined this site as well, to remind me that their are so many others out there like me.