Can't find a way to go on

This week, my doctor calls me and says "You have Chlamydia" He just decided to test me for it, even though I never asked. My husband of six years is the only partner who could have given it to me, I didn't have it before. I am heartbroken. I confronted him and he doesn't want a divorce, still wants me, but his excuse for this is that I am "just not good in bed and he hates having sex with me because he knows I don't like it" Of course I don't like it, he tells me how awful I am all the time so how could I enjoy it. Then, the worst part is he says "Why should I have to feel guilty for every little thing and live my life to make other people happy?" He is not sorry. He is not going to stop. he thinks he is entitled because in his opinion I am just not good at sex. I told him in my opinion he is not either but I just suffer through it, I don't go out and betray him. I just want to die, it hurts so much I just want to black out because I can't face life. I can't see how I can ever forgive him especially when he isn't sorry... but if I leave him I don't know how to live alone, or how to get rid of our house, I don't want to live in it but it is in my name. He doesn't pay any bills or have money to pay the mortgage. I can't find a way to go on but I don't know why I keep waking up every morning and unfortunately I don't die in my sleep.

I know its hard to think about this now but eventually you will learn to do things on your own and you will be so proud of yourself when you do. I found out about my husbands infidelity in April of this year and I started to shut down but then I realized I can do this. It took me about 3 months that I walked around numb from everything. I went to counseling and talked with my pastor and heard them tell me the same thing till it all clicked one day. I had someone tell me its just stuff! The important thing was I had my kids(don't know if you have children) I have my family and I have my health all the rest is just stuff. Sometimes to get out of a relationship like this you just have to walk away and start over. I have learned how to do many things on my own in the last several months. Even today when I was having an issue I wanted to call up and yell at him for what he has done but then I thought NO I'm not giving him the satisfaction!! And I solved the problem myself!! Yes you will have days but hey don't we all!! I'm sure you had days before you knew about his infidelity but remember you are important. You can do this! It's just stuff!! Good Luck and let me know how things are going!!

Shorty, dont let this man project whats going on inside of him onto YOU, what hes doing has nothing to do with you its all about him & only fulfilling his own self gradification, doesnt sound very mature from what you've described about him.

You said the house is in your name THANK GOODNESS for that, try some of the advice mentioned previously i.e., rent out rooms if necessary, & if you decide later on to keep the property as in this economy is probably the best route to go & cheaper while you wade through the wreckage thats been created.

You've just begun the process of realizing what type of person your dealing with so go very easy on yourself & talk w/someone you trust to deal with how its made you feel. Your correct in that trust issues will be forever ongoing & my heart goes out to you. We're all here to talk it through & listen to you.

All my strengths.

April

Shorty,

Lynne & April have give great advice. Especially the "man project". He doesn't have money to pay bills or the mortgage and he is not there for you emotionally or physically? Why do you care to keep him around? Get rid of your problem. YOU are not the problem, HE is!!!! He does not deserve you, and once he is gone, you will be a lot happier. You need a partner that is willing to learn together how to make each other happy, not stray from the relationship. When my husband told me he was no longer attracted to me, he began to stray, I thought it was all my fault. What a load of crap...HE was the problem, not me. Sex can be fun and enjoyable with a partner that is patient and loving and not judgmental. Don't give up on yourself, give up on him and you will be better off.

You will be better off and so proud of yourself and you will find new happiness once you have made it through this rough time in your life. Hold on to hope...

AllLuv - nicely said.

Thanks so much for the support guys. Even though it is going to be tough to solve the problem and sad every step of the way, it helps to have people give you encouragement because from what I am going through I do feel worthless. Nice to here somebody cares