Well I figured what first starts my depression. Feeling lonely. I am a stay at home mom on SSI for mental health. I never even had a job ever. Dont know if I ever can even have one. I dont even know if I will be on SSI the rest of my life. I feel useless. I feel alone. Everyone else says I wish I had your life you have it good! Yeah bull. It doesnt feel like it. I feel I havent accomplished anything. I feel lazy. I just sit at home by myself everyday. I hate being alone. I dont feel safe alone. Even in my own head. I hate not having much of anything to accupy my mind. Yeah I can read, I can watch movies. I can take a walk. I can do some art that I enjoy but It doesnt feel the same when it is with someone else to share it with. I do have a 3 year old that I do things with of course. But I need someone to be around my age also to be around to share it with. I have a man but of course he works alot. I have been feeling more lonely lately then ever.I get in my depression then urge to harm myself or wanna go insane. I am so all over the place.
Hi Faith, being a alone a lot and not having daily purpose can certainly fuel your depression. I work from home and I am alone a lot, so I have to make an effort to get out of the house so that I can be around people. I will go sit at a cafe, because just the energy of others helps so much, I now work-out at a gym and take classes where I have met other people, as well I make an effort to see my friends and family. Do you have a local community center where you can take classes, whether art, dance, or other types of activities? It's all about getting up and out of the house, and being social in one way or another.