Can't stop today

Been so depressed all week stayed in bed did not go to work. Yesterday I cut FML onto me. It's the first time I cut in at least a month. Today was such a bad day I cut twice and I was not even up an hour. Then a third time. Now I get something in the mail and needed my box cutter to open it and was like why am I not using that so I tried with that, but for some reason not as sharp as what I am using. Now I want to go back and cut again because my last attempt was really not that successful. I don't know what is wrong with me you would think I would stop considering my whole thigh is pretty much cut from to to bottom. Ughh has anyone else ever felt this way? At least this time I'm not reaching for the pills because the last place I want to be is the hospital again.

Bella-throw out your cutter of choice, seriously, if you don't have that perfect tool you get less of the high from the perfect cut (as you experienced). Make sure you clean the cuts you did make and remember that while this day sucked, you can start again right now.