can anyone explain to me in what stage of dementia a person is when he does not remember very recent events? To just talk with my husband you would think that he is the same as he has been. but living with him i am able to see how he changes each day.how do i keep from breaking down when i need to be strong.
God bless you carmb.
It has got to be so very hard to deal with.
the caregiver needs care too !
how to be strong?
I think we are stronger than we realize.....take time for yourself, get proper rest, maybe even counseling?
because it has got to be very draining for you in this capacity.
I am sorry I am not very familiar with Dementia.
I will try to do some research on it and post for you what I can find.
How about your doctors? and can they suggest any help for you to cope with the demands this brings to you?
Prayers for you Carmb, Hang in there! I hope others that are more familiar will be coming about, til then I shall try to do some research for this.
and say prayers for you that God provides you with the strength you need.
Hello again Carmb
Here is a site that has a lot of articles about dementia.
Yes, I think to educate and learn as much as you can may help you in itself to understand
that may make it easier to handle, knowledge being powerful.
At the same time you must remember to take time for yourself.....Do you have anyone who can help you care for your husband?
any options to find someone that may help you?
okay, I am here to talk with you whenever you are back online or you can email me. I will check for your response.
oh here is the site with some informative articles:
http://www.medicinenet.com/dementia/article.htm
I hope it helps...
God bless you and keep you strong...
deb
florida
Thanks to both of you for taking time to answer. God bless
dear carmb, do you know what is causing your husband's short term memory loss? has he had a medical eval. there are meds that can help them sort through things and cope better. please if you haven't already take your hubby to the doctor.
i am recently back from a trip to see my mom in wahington state. but is saw you post and thought i would let you know that my husband has the same issuse from a head injury and he is on meds and they really help.
we pray to God for help and develp and exercise our relationship with our Higher Power and that is our mainstay and that is a wondersul thing that keeps us stabilized. i don't know what your religion is and it doesn't matter, prayer and meditation work for anyone.
i wish you well, and send you my best in hope and faith and kindness.a prayer warrir for you.
Hi carmb
Is it dementia or alzheimers? Theres a differance and medications that can
help alzheimers. It did my mom for about a year but she was pretty well
advanced by the time we started medications. There is help out there
for you both, one day at a time :-)
Its a difficult road, I wish you the best.
am running behind; thank you each one for helping. He has been diasagoed 2 yrs ago with dementia. one dr told me dementia is the group and alzheimers one of the groups. another said alzheimers is the disease and dementia is group. He is on arcipect and anti-depression med. had open heart surgery in march so could be some of it. talked with his dr. about during scan to c how many brain cells had died but told me you really cannot do it. there was nothing that i could do but accept it. each person is different. I am a christian and belong to baptist church. I do have support from the church family. It is a big burden that robert has not been saved; doesnot care where he ends up. I pray for him. From information he is in stage 4 and there is like 7 stages. so much has happened this year. His BD is 8/17/40. Last year he was great for 70 and this yr he has turned into old man. I have started back to therphy and my son, daughter-in-law; granddaughter and 2 grandsons live next door. They are great with him. I read book about how the diseaase strikes him ; it is not that he willnot but his brain just does not click right. I am so sad about all that he is losing and am overwhelmed about it. In Christs Love
Hi carmb
I am so sorry for this going on in your life, it is a tough pill to swallow
for sure. Airacept is awsome and works great for a while but is not the
end all, it will progress.
I took care of mom until I couldn't any longer but we had to get pretty
creative with keeping her safe. Had to invert door handles so they locked
from the outside as she would wander off on us, kept telling her car was
broke down til she gave up one day on asking to drive. Its like having
a 2 year old, safety in the home as they don't know any better about
whats safe and whats harmful.
Very simple thing in the late stages can be harmful, I knew her time had come when she began eating kleenex's. It was sad but at that point I
had to put her in nursing home, as it was driving us to insanity.
Everyone is different, I pray it goes better for you than for me and that
he may come to the Lord and find peace.
Just keep the faith and trust it will be ok, its in the Lords hands now.
dear nana and carmb my husband is on the cusp of needing a nursing home only he just doesn't get it at all and he drives me nuts at times. i feel really silly for bringing him home from the nursing home he was in because i was jealous of a relationship he had formed there. silly ole me. but i made my bed and now i am laying in it thats for sure. my husband gets frustrated and from there he jumps right into anger he knows no middle ground. sad.and sorry for him and those around us. it is all black and white with him., if he gets off schedule with his sleeping patterns which is esay to happen all havec breaks loose. he blames and shames because he has no cognitive skills to work with here in the present world. all those he had developed through his years of therapy are missing now from the head injury. it is a dementia and the aricept didn't really work or do much for him at all. he is on lamictal which does help him process information and help keeps the depression at bay and then theres the klonipin which helps the angry outbursts a lot. today, well this morning was rough, he was frustrated over almost everything and questioned everything from the toaster to why there was no milk this morning and we are out of car food too and on and on and on. just cant let it go and i get to be the bad guy, i am so sorry for venting here and i have to run to the store soonest. it is just boring, depressing and old. and i just not in the mood for being a blessing to him this am, and i feel badly about guess i will follow my own often given advice and be good to my self and right now i need a nap i am pretty sure about that. thanks everyone who reads this post i am going to get some rest. that is how i keep from exploding, i post and rest.
Hi stanisz
Just remember yes they can be mean at times, please be very careful.
My mom grabbed me a couple times and left bruises, she lashed out
swore and screemed at times, and at other times as gentle as a teddy bear.
there is no telling one minute to the next.
I thank god I had a husband and teenage son 6 foot 200 lbs LOL
to help me dureing bad times.
dear nana yes i know, he has had his outbursts and it has been scary,the klonipin seems to calm him down for now at least. thank you. i will be careful and i am. i pray to God and remain more and more detatched from him it is sad, he used to be my dear partner in my life and now.... i am just his caretaker, he loves and craves attention though. so when i am in a good places i try to give him the attention he deserves and this keeps him satisfied for the day. he needs a lot of sleep too and when he doesn't get his rest he get irritated and frustrated and those are danger signs as well. thanks for your understanding, it really helps to talk to someone who doesn't judge him, or me.
all my best and prayers,maria
Dear carmb,
As far as what stage of dementia, I just don't know. I am also currently dealing with what you speak of. Some days outsiders would never know my hubby is quite right. I live with him and see all of the mistakes he makes and the poor judgement calls he is making. Without medical professionals to back me up, I am just lost. My husband truly needs to quite driving, he can't manage his medications-I do, and most of his decisions lead to trouble. Right now he has a toothache and won't let me get the help he needs and I am afraid to go over his head. He gets so angry. I have to watch him 24/7 so that he doesn't try to cook or anything else that may have dire consequences. It is so frustrating. I have noticed that he is getting rougher with our dog and this is not the norm, he trained shepherds in the military.. and loves animals. It has to be the dementia. So many worries and no answers without engaging his wrath.
Feel free to write anytime, and I will answer.
Big hugs to you.
dear brokenlady, in my opinion it is important to talk to his doctor number one to make sure his meds are all correct, and then to always be kind with hubby. they respond to quiet calm kindness and patience more than anything else and then we have to let it go and let God do the rest what else can we do? God has hubbys best interest at heart and will look after them and keep them in the palm of His hand as for the driving well that has to be a little more assertive, can you maybe sugggest we have to go talk to the doctor about an update on the liscense or go to the state for a review? this will be hard but may be essential. all my best, and prayers, maria
my grandmother and i went through this, the best is go in for a check up and see what they can do and how progressed it is and if it is rapid or not. its never an easy trhing to deal with when your loved ones are suffering and there is nothing you can do but be there for them. dont let it get to you so you are so overwhelmed over it ger help and take time to give time for yourself or you will run yourself ragged. be there and support him with everything you have but also remeber to take care of yourslef that this the only way you can stay strong for him and yourself. god bles you and you will be in my prayers.
well said kendraann, thank you for the reminders, a humble warrior.
Thank you all for the great advice. I needed another reminder about taking care of myself also, as I am suffering a burnout complete with dread in my stomach, double vision from too many long days, lightheaded, week-kneed--- the whole enchilada.
Also I am so tired of his Dementia causing him to argue about everything. The new meds have only been in his systom for a few days, maybe more time is required for it to work.
Thank you all for caring enough to reply.
dear broken lady, yes it takes awhile for t he meds to kick in, meanwhile you need to brush your teeth, wash your face, do your facials and wear your nice dress, know what i mean? take that nap when you can and eat right. take a little walk even if he has to come along if you can get him out of the house. taking care of you Must come first1 tell me how it is working for you. prayers, from a humble warrir
I am still not 100% but with getting more sleep (naps), I am feeling a wee bit better. I hope to never forget this lesson of burnout. If I can prevent it, I am going to do everything possible from getting this tired out again. The advice from everyone here is so right on.
God Bless everyone.
my hubby walks through the house with a big smile and when he gets really bored he does something really bad or annoying like lets the cat out so all hey breaks loose and i have to chase after the cat and i have to work extra hard. ohhhhh! then i get mad at him and he just sits there like a lump. saying i dont know what i am talking about.and the counselor told him if he did not like the community rules about no outside cats to take it up with the management. he would never do that, that makes sense, it is just so frustrating to be ignored like that. and poor kitty. oh well no harms done thus far. am praying for all. love and prayers a humle warrior
Am glad that you got kitty back inside. It is big worry not to know what will happen from 1 moment to another . People can tell you to take care of yourself and make time for yourself but they just cannot understand unless they are right with you. My daughter-in-law works in dementia ward so explains things to me which does help . But when I am in a situation it is so very hard to keep cool. I have to remind myself that it is not him but the disease.; but at times i really goof. His mental health dr. told us that it is just his age but i sure do differ with him. He has appt on 9/9/11 with neurologist so hope that maybe he can give some help. I wonder at times if he has just given up. My best thing is to read but i am able to sleep really good in chair anymore. I am glad for all who wrote and hope we can keep in touch. Take good care of yourselves. In Christs Love