Clean since Halloween

I've been clean since Halloween and in the week or two since my life has taken a dramatic turn. Theres a woman who I'm sure would just get up and go if she found out I was using. I met her and could think nothing of nothing else besides wanting to be in good shape for her. I mean mentally, I generally have no problem attracting women but there is something that tells me that if I'm imbalanced it's easy to see. Women have a sixth sense for this, I'm convince as of now. Anyhow, since my using is connected to sexual exploits it's been an uphill battle to ward off the compulsion to use when aroused. I've also had more money than I usually do, which I attribute to behaving wisely for once in my life and not using every week like a used to. I really enjoy spending time with this woman and would be so full of shame should I have to look her in the eyes a day after using and for her to the shell that I'd be then. So with that, I have sufficient reason to be on here helping out whoever I can because it feels great to be clean, and I notice that "friendship" "relationship" and "clean" all live on the same avenue, and I'm glad I just moved into the neighborhood.

Wow, congrats Out! That is wonderful! I understand the battle you feel. No 1 is to remember to be clean for yourself! Keep remembering the pride you feel and use that as motivation to keep you going. Continue to change people,places & things that may take you down the wrong road. Having a special partner that you really care about is a bonus,but don't make her your motivation. Do it for yourself and good things will happen around you. Also, try to attend AA or NA as much as possible for additional support. There are great people there who can help! Keep up the great work. Wishing you the best!